As most of you already probably heard if you live in DC and read any number of more timely news outlets out there, the city denied Big Bear Cafe, Bloomingdale's flagship coffee shop, its liquor license earlier this week. And yes, although this can be summed up with the phrase, "What a bunch of bullsh*t," this decision should really come as no surprise. DC has a long history of hating fun.- U Street gay club/restaurant Cada Vez ran into trouble when trying to renew their liquor license in 2005 because the city thought they shouldn't be classified as a club/restaurant but simply a club. Or something. (Cada Vez has since closed, although it is unclear whether the trouble with the city had anything to do with it.)
- Tonic (the one located near George Washington University) couldn't get its liquor license the first time it applied in 2006. (The bar/restaurant later received one.)
- H Street venue Ethiopic was denied their license by the city last year. (The restaurant later received one.)
And the list goes on and on, but I'm sick of Googling, so let's just go with that for now. As you can see, even though the city seems to hate fun initially, after a while, it seems it usually comes around. So, I don't think this is the end for Big Bear Café, which I confess I've only been to once for obvious reasons: THEY DON'T SERVE LIQUOR!Now, I could just end my essay here letting you believe the city's Advisory Neighborhood Commissions (ANCs), the groups in charge of liquor licensing, are just a bunch of teetotalling dicks, but I won't. That wouldn't be fair. See, while that's often the case, it seems sometimes this city's residents are even bigger teetotalling dicks.
For example, it was because of GW student complaints about noise (um, seriously) why it took Tonic a good two years to get its liquor license. In 2008 (maybe after those assholes graduated?), Tonic finally was granted license to begin serving fun.
And keeping close with the young-people-acting-conspicuously-lame tip, I think we have the root of Big Bear's problems -- its neighbors, who presented this ridiculously worded legal resolution against Big Bear to the Commission on Tuesday. Whereas, you're all a bunch of haters...
But perhaps, I'm simply under the wrong impression. I thought Bloomingdale, where Big Bear is located, was the new go-to neighborhood for white people. In other words, I thought it was the new gentrification hotspot. And if there's one thing we know about gentrifying white people, it's that they like wine and fancy beer with their coffee. So, what the f*ck is going on here, huh? Why, Bloomingdale residents, are you all trying to deny who you are?Maybe this is a grand ploy to keep dirty drunk hobos like me out of your neighborhood. If so, congratulations -- you've won. I will continue not to go to there and keep my stupid dirty drunk hobo gentrification dollars in my pocket. Cheers, Bloomingdale! *glug*
