shiver me putins

Question: Are you one of those people who prefers spring or fall? I'm definitely a fall person. I like when the weather gets chillier and the days get shorter. It matches the characteristics of my heart. You know, cold and dark. So, when I wake up at 7:30 in the morning because it's f*cking sunny and warm, you can only imagine my dismay, which is why I'm now sitting in my windowless bathroom in a bathtub full of ice, the only light being the dim LCD beams emitted from my laptop's screen. *sigh*

The only other manifestations of humanity that can comfort me when the days are so goddamn gorgeous is knowing that there's nearly an infinite amount of retardulous sh*t online that I can waste my time looking at and thinking, "Now why didn't I think if that?!" And so, I award each one of the following links with a congratulatory Creepy Putin blingee because they are the little boy's stomach to this blog's personification of Putin's lips. Think about it. Also, I added in three dancing Snoop Doggs as a bonus.



First up, I have to dedicate a Creepy Putin blingee to the precocious child behind "Kittens Inspired by Kittens." I don't even like cats. In fact, I'm terrified of their sneaking, soul-stealing stare-down ways. But the little girl in charge of this video demystifies the terror. Cats are retarded.


Secondly, Wednesday's episode of the Colbert Report had me LOLing, ROFLing and even LSHISMP,PIMing (that's Laughing So Hard I Sh*t My Pants, Proverbially I Mean). The man's brilliant. Or his writers are. And surprisingly, so is Eleanor Holmes Norton! REPRESENT!


Thirdly, I didn't really watch that many movies this Oscar season and now the New Yorker tells me why. Because they were sh*tty.

Quadrupedally, this hedgehog knows how to party.


And lastly, up your butt with a coconut! Again, why didn't I think of that?!