:/

While I would love to tell you about my awesome Saturday night, which I spent dancing to Claire Hux and Lazerbitch, I'm not going to because I'm busy. Like, for real this time. And, unfortunately, not with word hustling or watching the Tyra Banks Show, but with the events of life and death. To deal with said events, I have been called to Russellville, Arkansas, a place that, quite frankly, I'm surprised even has Internet access. Just kidding! It's not so third world out here. After all, they have two Waffle Houses and a delicious Cracker Barrel, the best old-timey chain restaurant around!

But alas, I've been too busy dealing with one of the most unfortunate facts of life that I can barely enjoy a meal of food, let alone one from the tasty, butter-drenched heaven that is Cracker Barrel.

And so, with little energy and even less time, the blog is going on the backburner until I return, which could be Thursday, Friday or sometime next week. At this point, it all depends on science, God and whatever else possibly plays into the fate of a wonderful, inspirational, strong, stylish and beautiful 87-year-old woman who suffered a massive stroke.

I know this isn't the usual punchline one has come to expect from the retarded mess that is this blog, but I just wanted to let those of you who are kind enough to check in with my twisted mind each day why there may not be a lot of updates in the next week.

But I don't want this entry to be a total downer either, so allow me to slap on a video that I'm sure we've all seen at least 300 times. And like someone you love, this video only gets better with time. However, unlike those we love, this video will never go away and will continue to make me laugh even when laughing seems so wrong. Well, at least with the help of a reliable WiFi network.

Hmm. That was a bit of a downer of an introduction. Dang. In any case, Pearl and Will Ferrell, make me LOL! Stat!

The Landlord from Will Ferrell