Friday, April 8, 2011

gettin' hobo with it

With all this government shutdown sh*t hitting the khaki-colored fan, I've come to a bit of a bizarre revelation -- I don't really know very many people who work for the Feds. In fact, I think I know only one, maybe two of you douches (I say that with love). And while I think that's because I have no friends hang almost exclusively with a menagerie of imaginary helper animals and, um, lawyers (embarrassing, I know), I think this is a sure sign that I should probably get out more. At the very least I should probably get to know the side of Washington, DC, I so love to mock.

So, in an attempt to broaden my horizons, I want to invite all of you Federal furloughers to come experience my world, or at least the part of my world that involves day-time drinking, a worthwhile past-time I engage in every Monday, all Monday. And while I'd offer to buy, I think actually you guys should, considering you're the ones eligible for the sweet discounts.

So, in conclusion, this is what I'm offering: You, federal employee, may purchase me, your awesome e-friend (and probably a helper animal or two), several libations during the afternoon of Monday, April 11, 2011. In exchange, I can offer FUN FUN FUN FUN!


Vivian said...

I really hope the imminent government shut down won't make Boehner cry. But let's be honest, he will cry. A lot.

Marissa said...


I think Boehner sheds tears even when he's bored. "Hmm...what should I do on this lazy Sunday? I think I'll cry."