Friday, April 22, 2011

the evolution of Bruce Boudreau

For those of you who know who Bruce Boudreau is, congratulations. He's awesome. But for those of you who don't, allow me to ask: Where have you been, sh*tbums?! Because, like I said, Bruce Boudreau is awesome. He coined the term sh*tbum! He also looks like a waxed Santa. Oh, and he coaches the Capitals, who are arguably the best team in the NHL. (Finally, a sport Washington doesn't suck at!) In short, Bruce Boudreau is the opposite of sh*tbum. But in the words of the immortal Levar Burton (or mortal, is he still alive?), you don't have to take my word for it...

Actually, I meant don't take my f*ckin' word for it.

And because I love Bruce Boudreau more than I love making money doing my job, I decided to take some time to find out a little more about him and, luckily, thanks to Wikipedia and a Google image search, it wasn't that hard. I can haz biography and employment.

So, without further ado, look at this hair!

Before he was waxed Santa, he was bowl cut Jerry O'Connell. He was also a pretty good hockey player. Who knew? (Answer: Wikipedia, probably any real hockey fan, Google, etc.)

And sure, that's Boudreau skating above, but that isn't a regulation game. Nope! That's Bruce, as bowl cut Jerry O'Connell, in the 1977 film (or rather, f*ckin' film) Slapshot. It starred, um, well whoever. All that matters is Bruce Boudreau was in it as an extra and even in his short three seconds on film, he managed to prove himself a better actor than Leonardo DiCaprio. Then again, so does just that hockey stick he's holding. And the ice. And the skates. Well, you get the idea; you've all seen Blood Diamond...

Hey, friend! Bruce Boudreau has some bad-ass friends (not to be confused with bad ass-friends). There he is with Alex Ovechkin, above. Perhaps, he's telling a joke about a bald Canadian and a toothless Russia walking into a bar (ow!), or maybe he's just saying something like, "Holy f*ck, my friend, you are the greatest f*ckin' hockey player alive and I am the must lively f*ckin' coach. Together, we've finally f*ckin' made a f*ckin' sport that's actually f*ckin' fun and f*ckin' interesting to f*ckin' watch for The F*ckin' Anti DC!" That's definitely probably what's happening there.

And so, thank you, Bruce Boudreau, for piquing my interest in local sports. I chose to watch the playoff game over American Idol the other night, which is not the biggest of deals, actually because it's not like American Idol is Extreme Couponing (shut up, those OCD hoarders are fascinating!), but hey, it's something.

But speaking of Extreme F*ckin' Couponing...someone needs to body check these assholes in the pasta aisle. Bruce?

1 comment:

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