Friday, April 17, 2009

i hate everybody in the discotheque

Oh...DC...what to do with you? Just when I thought I was starting to like you, you go and pull the shambles you pulled last night...

DC, you kind of ruined Stereo Total for me.

For those of you who aren't privy to their greatness yet, Stereo Total is a French/German electro duo who make fun songs to hop around to while hanging out with your friends. In fact, leading the hop-around/dance fun is frontman Brezel Goering, a lanky German with a forelock. Likewise, frontwoman Françoise Cactus maintains a similar vibe, although she's a bit pudgier (it must be all the baguettes). She also doesn't have a forelock.

But forelock or not, both members of this group know how to get a party started.

Unless, of course, they're playing in DC...where all parties apparently go to die.

I fear I'm a bit biased, however, as the only other times I've seen Stereo Total were in Moscow, Russia. And comparing a show there to a show here is pretty much like comparing apples to oranges, or more accurately, chess genius Gary Kasparov to Billy Bob Thornton's mentally retarded character in Sling Blade.

One is clearly superior.

For one, people dance in Moscow. In DC, it seems people prefer to stand still, which I suppose, I already knew. Even after Goering and Cactus invited the first few rows of people on stage, people just kind of stood around staring at each other. Even the kids on stage just stared at each other. Once in a while, one of them twitched their arm or something, although I suspect that was involuntary.

Moscow crowds also don't fear having a good time. Now, I guess I can't say for sure that nearly everyone last night was having a sh*tty time, but judging from the lack of movement and various grimaces I spotted around the crowd, I don't think it's a false deduction to reason this crowd just wasn't having that much fun. But maybe that was just the people in the back...

Nope. When I moved my way to the front, people looked even more bored. Hard to believe, there was even less dancing. At least in the back, there was one guy who was legitimately awesome...or at least legitimately drunk. Whichever.

But the last proverbial straw, came in the form of a mic in several people's faces when Cactus attempted to get some audience members to help belt out the chorus of Moviestar. I honestly don't know how to phrase what I saw humorously, as I've never seen anything so pathetic in my life. She tried about five times and all five kids mumbled under their breath into the mic. I'm sorry, but if someone sticks a mic in your face during a Stereo Total concert you f*cking shout in it. And so when it came to be my turn, that's exactly what I did. And you know what happened?

People cheered.

Now, I'd like to say people applauded my efforts because of my stellar singing voice, but I'm not that delusional (yet). People cheered because I tried. I wasn't embarrassed about what others would think of my pitchy voice. I wasn't a self-conscious douche taking up a prime spot only to stand there and text message my friends. I also wasn't dressed in Arden B from head to toe, but that's another story.

The bottomline is this: At a Moscow Stereo Total show, the entire audience would've been having a good time.

Is that...dancing?!?!?! Whoa!

And not just any good time, but an eye-patch dangling around your exposed bare chest good time...

You can't fake this passion.

But DC? Well, it looked something like this.


In closing, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Stereo Total songs that effectively sums up my feelings for this town -- Everybody in the Discotheque (I Hate). Enjoy!

11 comments:

FoggyDew said...

In that second picture it *kinda* looks like they're all giving der fuhrer the ol nazi salute. But that could just be me.

You should have been at Lisner last night for the Habib Koite show (an Malian singer). The show, simply, rocked. People were dancing in their seats and in the aisles and doing summersaults and all that. Very moving...so to speak.

patrick b said...

Well now I don't feel quite as bad for not going.
I even put my shoes back on to go out to the show but I kept thinking, god the black cat is so annoying.

Face it Marrissa, your blog isn't called The Anti DC for nothing.

I saw ST at the Rock and Roll Hotel awhile back and it was pretty fun. Some dancing but not as much as I would have liked (read: circle pit at a rave)

In closing... FUCK DC, FUCK INDIE ROCKERS THAT DON'T UNDERSTAND PARTYMUSIC, FUCK ME FOR NOT GOING, and lastly,I HATE EVERYONE IN THE DISCOTHEQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marissa said...

foggydew--Hmm...Well, sadly and inexplicably if you have a modicum of knowledge in world history, there are neo-Nazis in Russia. Happily, it's not the crowd that attends Stereo Total shows. Probably a caught the crowd mid-wave or somethin'.

patrick b--I wish there were indie rockers there. It looked like a Gap ad but with uglier kids.

patrick b said...

Don't people dance in those Gap ads?

cutteing said...

I have to say, moving here two years ago (almost 3 now) from Chicago, I was surprised to see the lack of enthusiasm displayed at shows here. I just stopped going to shows altogether thinking, "meh, I'll just pop a CD in, play a record or plug my IPod into my stereo..and have my own fuckin' dance party. Part of me is still searching for that dance party here, but I don't know....Marissa please keep spreading the gospel!

Ben (The Tiger) said...

Maybe everyone was a nerd in high school?

But that's what college is for. And alcohol.

Marissa said...

patrick--Hmm...you're right about the Gap ads. So yeah, it was worse than a Gap ad.

cutteing--Yeah. It's definitely weird. I mean, you can drive 45 miles east to Baltimore and it's like you're in a different, way-more-fun universe. I don't get it.

ben--Nerds can be lots of fun though. I'm a nerd. And I hope I'm fun. Like I said, the scene was confounding.

Patty Duke said...

OK. You are going to have to start calling these non-dressing, non partying assholes that you write about DC TRANSPLANTS. As native of DC, I can't be associated with these fools. Because as everyone knows, DC Natives ROCK. Give us a reason and we will party. Hell, we'll party without a reason. And it goes without saying, we can dress our asses off.

If you ever meet someone who says he is from DC and he is standing around a venue where there is kick ass music like a bump on a log, let a DC Native know and we will confiscate his birth certificate and change his place of birth to another city. We will also get rid of any incriminating evidence that says that he has been here longer than a year.

We must protect our image at all costs. And if anyone brings up Marion Barry in the comments, just remember that he is NOT a DC Native. Fenty is a Native, but his birth cerificate may be in serious jepardy.

JON said...

This music is confounding. (...?!)

Marissa said...

patty duke--Oh snap. The problem with that is I'm a DC transplant. I am most definitely not from here...and as you point out, neither is Marion Berry...yet we both like to party. I guess there's an exception to every rule. Good observation, though.

jon--This music is TIGHT!

Ben (The Tiger) said...

I was, too.

I'm just sayin'...