Oh...DC...what to do with you? Just when I thought I was starting to like you, you go and pull the shambles you pulled last night...
DC, you kind of ruined Stereo Total for me.
For those of you who aren't privy to their greatness yet, Stereo Total is a French/German electro duo who make fun songs to hop around to while hanging out with your friends. In fact, leading the hop-around/dance fun is frontman Brezel Goering, a lanky German with a forelock. Likewise, frontwoman Françoise Cactus maintains a similar vibe, although she's a bit pudgier (it must be all the baguettes). She also doesn't have a forelock.
But forelock or not, both members of this group know how to get a party started.
Unless, of course, they're playing in DC...where all parties apparently go to die.
I fear I'm a bit biased, however, as the only other times I've seen Stereo Total were in Moscow, Russia. And comparing a show there to a show here is pretty much like comparing apples to oranges, or more accurately, chess genius Gary Kasparov to Billy Bob Thornton's mentally retarded character in Sling Blade.
One is clearly superior.
For one, people dance in Moscow. In DC, it seems people prefer to stand still, which I suppose, I already knew. Even after Goering and Cactus invited the first few rows of people on stage, people just kind of stood around staring at each other. Even the kids on stage just stared at each other. Once in a while, one of them twitched their arm or something, although I suspect that was involuntary.
Moscow crowds also don't fear having a good time. Now, I guess I can't say for sure that nearly everyone last night was having a sh*tty time, but judging from the lack of movement and various grimaces I spotted around the crowd, I don't think it's a false deduction to reason this crowd just wasn't having that much fun. But maybe that was just the people in the back...
Nope. When I moved my way to the front, people looked even more bored. Hard to believe, there was even less dancing. At least in the back, there was one guy who was legitimately awesome...or at least legitimately drunk. Whichever.
But the last proverbial straw, came in the form of a mic in several people's faces when Cactus attempted to get some audience members to help belt out the chorus of Moviestar. I honestly don't know how to phrase what I saw humorously, as I've never seen anything so pathetic in my life. She tried about five times and all five kids mumbled under their breath into the mic. I'm sorry, but if someone sticks a mic in your face during a Stereo Total concert you f*cking shout in it. And so when it came to be my turn, that's exactly what I did. And you know what happened?
Now, I'd like to say people applauded my efforts because of my stellar singing voice, but I'm not that delusional (yet). People cheered because I tried. I wasn't embarrassed about what others would think of my pitchy voice. I wasn't a self-conscious douche taking up a prime spot only to stand there and text message my friends. I also wasn't dressed in Arden B from head to toe, but that's another story.
The bottomline is this: At a Moscow Stereo Total show, the entire audience would've been having a good time.
But DC? Well, it looked something like this.
In closing, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Stereo Total songs that effectively sums up my feelings for this town -- Everybody in the Discotheque (I Hate). Enjoy!