Friday, September 25, 2009

THE END

I guess whenever you write anything for public consumption, you can't help but think about who's actually reading it. Or, for that matter, if anyone's reading it. And while I suppose this thought also passes through the minds of print journalists (at least it did mine whenever I, you know, had a job), I think it's even more present in the minds of Web writers, you know, those narcissistic freaks called bloggers.

Speaking of, remember that party I organized in my honor? Well, people actually showed up! My ego is f*cking off the charts! Well, it was off the charts. After dealing with the day-after, which involved watching a few reruns of the A-Team, eating an entire pizza (it wasn't delivery, it was DiGiorno!) and imbibing copious amounts of Mountain Dew, my ego is a bit deflated. My thighs, on the other hand, have never been bigger...

But, sincerely, I want to thank everyone who could make it out on Wednesday for The Anti DC send-off, which I officially dubbed "I'll See You in Hell, DC." Not only did you sufficiently abet my narcissistic tendencies, but you allowed me to finally put a face to many of your names. And, my oh my, what a menagerie of faces there were!

Who knew bitching about DC would unite so many? Republicans, democrats, white-collar, blue-collar, no-collar, black, white, brown, blonds, brunettes, men, women, bloggers, non-bloggers. The only thing that was missing was another horse to keep my helper horse Sven company. Although, he was only there the first five minutes. He had to get to the casino. Something about a slot-machine tournament...

But seriously, I was impressed by the diversity in my, what I suppose I can even call, "readership." Truly, I guess my this blog touched a universal nerve among those possessing a keen wit. (And yes, I can feel my thighs shrinking and my ego getting bigger with that sentence because it takes one to know one.) In fact, it's too bad I waited until I was leaving DC to host one of these soirees because I'm pretty sure I could be real-life friends with everyone who showed up. Trust me, it helped that everyone seemed to enjoy my jean shorts, or as I prefer to call them my "jorts."



Also on the jorts tip, I learned my "audience" (Oh boy! My ego just spilled out of my right ear!) also possesses one other universal quality: They're an honest group. Not one but two people told me straight-up to stop reenacting the above video.

"Hey! Look what I can do in these awesome jorts!" I said as I took on an incredibly wide stance.

"Uh, you showed me that already."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Like twice."

"Really?!"

"Yeah."

*silence*

As I turn to the next person, "Hey, check out what I can do in these sweet jorts!"

Someone probably should've thrown a drink in my face.

But really, thanks for putting up with me. Thanks for the memories over on this here blog. And thanks to those of you who find something in my writing that will make you want to read my new stuff even if I'm not bitching about something DC-specific.

By the way, someone asked me what my favorite Anti DC post of all time was. I gotta say it's a toss-up between the one in which I realize I'm making $2.37 an hour at the sex shop and the one where I compare DC to asbestos. I really get a kick out of science humor.

And on that note, I'll proceed to officially retire The Anti DC (and I mean it this time) with this most entertaining and offensive montage I like to call "When Photos of Awkward Science Kids Meet Photoshop." Enjoy!


But remember, you can always find me at Marissa's Big Adventure. Have fun in DC, suckers! :)

16 comments:

Shannon said...

You'll be missed! I didn't always agree with your posts, but I've always enjoyed them. Which is a mark of good writing.

Keep in touch, LYLAS, and all those other yearbook platitudes.

Ben (The Tiger in Exile) said...

There were other Republicans in the crowd?

(On the other hand, my memories of the latter... two-thirds... of the evening are kinda hazy.)

Marissa said...

shannon--

Your secret hatred of me made your comments always more interesting! :)

ben--

Hmm...well, I've got a strong Libertarian streak (I'm sure that's evident). As far as other Republicans, I think there was at least one other one the other night and I know of at least four more who read on a regular basis but couldn't show up last night due to them being hundreds of miles away. Most of them, of course, are in flyover country!

Shannon said...

I kept my loathing a secret? You mean, I never showed you my Marissa voodoo doll with the bicycle spokes jammed in its head?

Ben (The Tiger in Exile) said...

So we'll get your vote in 2012 -- libertarians tend to come home when the Dems start trying to nationalize things.

Mind you, if you bother registering from abroad, it'll be from a DC address, which is totally useless. I mean, DC went 85.38% for Mondale-Ferraro. Yet another reason to be anti-DC. :p

Clearly Santiago is the right choice.

Debbi said...

OMG, that video made me laugh out loud. And not just LOL, in the retardulous, Internet age sense of the phrase. I was actually laughing. Possibly chortling. (I came close to snorting, but didn't quite get there.)

God, you will be missed. DC's loss is Santiago's gain.

Patty Duke said...

You are going to be missed in D.C. Having met you, I will consider you a real-life friend, where ever your travels may take you.

mandy moorehol said...

blogs should never end, check out my new guilty pleasure and have a laugh at http://www.fatkidsfalling.com

Victor9000 said...

Thanks for serving as a conduit for some thoughtful shit-talkin, and for putting a laser eye on the daily offenses to aesthetics and proper human behavior that pass as acceptable in this city.
While hatery may not be the appropriate tactic for all times and places, you've chosen wisely to deploy it on the here and in the now.
You'll be missed. I fear for what the douches and douchebaguettes may try to pull in the absence of your panopticonic gaze.
Good luck.

Marissa said...

debbi--

The Always Sunny one or the Science Projects Meet Photoshop one. It's a toss up. :)

patty--

Well, I consider you the same. Also, I'm still waiting for YOUR blog!

mandy--

Uh, you need to put some jorts on. Or, well, anything...

v9k--

Hot damn! I always get giddy when v9k drops knowledge on the Internets. I did what I can and now I must move on. There are bigger fish to fry. And I mean that literally because Chile, apparently, has delicious seafood.

LiLu said...

It was a great run, my dear.

PS? Totally doing Charlie and the Waitress for Halloween. Black Stallion t shirt, rattified long johns, aqua skinny jeans and a coffee karafe have already been procured.

Debbi said...

Oh, it was the Science Project one!

Am I the last to leave? I'll turn out the lights . . .

Skywalker said...

Will miss fighting with you over Shambles but all in all - good luck on your next venture.

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