Tuesday, July 7, 2009

artomatic, shambles and death by tiny birds

Sorry for the lack of bloggage yesterday. I was busy tending to my helper horse Sven. He got a little carried away with the roman candles on Saturday and set his fine mane aflame. Then when I threw a few shots of rum over to him to put it out, it really only made matters worse. Finally, he stopped, dropped and rolled. Like the wise, albeit cliched, Native American taught me on GI Joe.

Well, Sven, now we know.

And when I wasn't alternately killing then helping Sven not self-immolate, I was actually out doing sh*t. Mainly, I finally went to Artomatic! And, boy, was it arty! And a little big retardy...but we'll get to that later.

First up -- my favorites (from the small amount I was able to see in two hours. Oh and my camera ran out of batteries after the first 30 minutes. And also, I forgot to write down anyone's name. This is why I plan never ever to go back into journalism. I hate necessary information.)

I don't know who made this, but it looked like a giant piece of candy. Sweet.

Connor Glenn's sh*t is tight.

The fanciest toilet I've ever had the pleasure to poop on. Just kidding. It's not functional. And, yes, that somehow stopped me.

The most macabre Peeps diorama I've ever, well, peeped.

The District used to be cool. I guess. At least compared to now. Never mind the ill-fitting white pants you see before you...

And speaking of ill-fitting pants, this guy clearly didn't get the District-wide memo! First off, he's not even wearing pants! In fact, as you can see through the art of this blurry photograph by The Anti DC, who forgot to enter this year's Artomatic, he's barely wearing shorts. Yet, still, they are perfect. The Perfect Shambles. (I'll be selling prints for $0.99, discount for bulk buys.)

And now, I present to you the bad:

This just seems like a terrible waste of a bike to me...

And this kind of barf proved all too prevalent. Just because you own a glue gun, doesn't make you a talented artist. And just because you glue random, creepy sh*t to a tutu, does not make you a visionary. Sorry. I'm a harsh critic.

And now for the most thought provoking:

Joseph Hale certainly piqued my interest with this one and not just because this dog looks uncannily like Steve, the name I plan to give one of the huskies I plan to own in the future that will pull me on a sled along the Iditarod. And not just because it got me thinking about how short and precious life can be lest we get attacked by a small swarm of tiny birds. (What the f*ck are those, canaries?) No, this got me thinking because I'm confused. First off, speaking of those canaries, they really don't look like carnivores. Why are they eating Steve? And secondly, there certainly seems to be a lack of blood streaming out of that giant, gaping, possibly tiny-bird induced wound. Where's the science? I guess that's what artistic license is for. Welcome to my mind. It's a warm and fuzzy place. :)

But luckily, that's pretty much the hardest I was forced to think the entire weekend. Life really is precious.


JFo said...

I was at Artomatic on Sunday and also saw the Perfect Shambles. It took a lot of effort to avoid making awkward eye contact with him.

Marissa said...

Avoid?! I was trying to make awkward eye contact with him. I' guessing, however, I'm not his type.

Anonymous said...

OMG, why would anyone do that to sweet, little peeps?? Perverts, I say, and definitely not art. At least it wasn't the chick peeps.

Anonymous said...

Sven is a dude not a horse, right?

Marissa said...


Peeps have a dark side, I suppose. They also make you puke if you eat too many. It makes sense to me.


While sometimes I call him dude, as in "Dude, can you keep you please keep your oats in your feedbag?" Sven is most definitely a horse. A helpful one, though. Hence, my helper horse. He's the replacement for my helper tortoise, Vladimir. Welcome to my blog. I hope you stop by again!

Anonymous said...

Amen, sister, on the fucking glue gun.

That said, Joseph Hale's art couldn't help but remind me of this:


Only except the "too cute" part.

Shannon said...

There were killer parakeets in Barbarella - maybe it's a reference?