questions of the week

Why does this guy hate Virginia so much? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of the 'burbs either, but I'm not planning to bomb the sh*t out of it. Also, awesome job perpetuating the stereotype, you asshole -- you just made every sane Pakistani's life in this country all that more uncomfortable.

How is it that the biggest start at this weekend's Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear is Sam Waterson (that is, besides the two hosts)? Now I don't feel that bad for missing it.*

Why is all the attention on Brett Favre's penis, when the most disturbing image in his "alleged" text are his Crocs? Crocs > Cocks on the offense scale.

Why does John Kelly have a job? His articles sound like they're being written by that guy who relies on his stupid to show that he's funny, rather than substance. Can we please finally replace him with R. Kelly? R. Kelly > John Kelly on the Kelly scale.

WHY ISN'T THIS ARTICLE THAT SAYS EATING CANDY IS GOOD FOR US (kinda) HEADLINE NEWS?!

This is a two-parter: 1) Why does DC Water have a mascot? And, 2) More pressingly, why does this new mascot roll in a rape van?

True, @mydcwater, it is harder to rape in a midsize sedan...

Lastly, since we're on the Twitter tip, I'll let fake Clarence Thomas (@clarencethomas) ask the last question:


*I'll be volunteering with the childrens for a group that helps kids process grief after losing a parent or other close family member. Yes, I am a saint.