For seven months I've kept my mouth shut about DC's more unfortunate shortcomings. For seven months I've said nothing of this city's unofficial dress code, or the fact that work ID badges are considered accessories, or even the ridiculousness that is this.
To shorten my thoughts on DC in three letters: WTF?!
Is Washington, DC, a real city? Besides the total dearth of towering architecture that composes most other American city skylines, DC also lacks a certain hipness that characterizes various neighborhoods in America's more typical urban environments. New York has Soho, the Lower East Side and Nolita; Chicago has Wicker Park and Lincoln Park; San Francisco has Haight-Ashbury and Mission.
And population is no excuse. Even smaller cities have their hotspots. For example, Minneapolis (pop. 372,811) has Uptown and Dinkytown. So, DC, with your population of 581,530, what are your stylish hoods? Dupont? Adams Morgan? Or (*gasp*) Georgetown?
A short stroll through any of the above will likely prove otherwise on the whole. However, there are certain spots in each of the aforementioned neighborhoods (well, except for Georgetown) that are passable.
Yet for each decent bar, brunch spot or boutique I find in DC, there still exists that not-so-small problem of finding a well-dressed, witty crowd to fill it. Seriously, DC, un-pop the collar, try on some flat-front pants and, for the love of God, take off your work ID when you're not f*ing working.
Help me help you, Washington. Welcome to The Anti DC.