Sunday, November 25, 2007

dc in ac -- an epic, epic journey

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Or, as I prefer, fool me twice, punch you in the face. While I and the Golden Touch Dice Revolution! crew (and so what if by "crew" I really mean one other person?) weren't fooled per se, we did leave the Tropicana's craps tables in Atlantic City feeling cheated out of a good time, not only because we lost there, but because we were flagged by its employees...while we were losing.

First, I understand it sucks to work. Second, I understand it sucks even more to work holidays. But please, don't crap (pun very much intended) on my parade, Tropicana craps table workers! We started off in the black, gaining about $100 each in the course of about 15 minutes. It really was downright amazing...until we started losing. However, instead of commiserating with us or offering encouraging words, one Tropicana employee decided to flag us. While on the surface this is a bit flattering, considering most of the time bring snitched on means you're some sort of magical player, in this situation, it was simply retarded. See, by the end of 30 minutes of gaming, the GTDR! crew was in the red. So, why did this asshat employee tell her coworkers to "watch those two"? Well, either she's really bad at math, or she was, as I alluded to exactly 24 words ago, a run-of-the-mill asshat. Not tight.

After we each lost a triple-digit chunk of change, we realized the Fiesta buffet and its mythical cornucopia of king crab legs was clearly beyond our budgets. So, instead, we veered left for our Thanksgiving feast and headed for Hooters, where incidentally, most of the waitresses sported beer guts (Hott). After drowning our sorrows in a pitcher of sangria and a lovely, surprisingly delicious grilled cheese (only $4.99!), we thirsted for revenge at the tables.

And vindication we would *almost* get! We moved up the boardwalk to the Trump Plaza, where we immediately found better craps tables. However, by "better," I simply mean the casino's employees were nice to us as we handed their employer our money. Even deeper in the red, we decided Thanksgiving in AC was dead to us and returned to the room poor and tired...but mainly just poor.

That must've struck a nerve with the heavens as we woke up the next morning after a lovely 3.5 hours of sleep with a wholly different attitude. And sure enough, the day after Thanksgiving was certainly not dead to us. Oh yes, it is very much alive! We wanted, nay, we needed to roll one last time. Now whether this change in mood was divine intervention or the onset of some sort of manic mental disorder, we did not care. It was time to take this bitch of a city down. We targeted the Taj Mahal.

Like the Plaza, the Taj Mahal's craps jockeys were much more personable than those at the Tropicana. However, unlike the Plaza where we came away as losers, setting foot in the TM proved the best decision we made in that fateful 36 hours (aside from dining at Hooters, that is -- that $4.99 grilled cheese was delicious). Through the magic of the GTDR! crew's collective right arm, we were able to triple our monies, allowing us to just about break even. And breaking even was good enough for us.

Now, you may be asking, "What does all this betting nonsense have to do with DC?" Absolutely nothing. However, of course, our trip did not fly by without at least one known run-in (as you will see shortly, that pun is also intended) with DC.

Just feet before we were going to turn into the Tropicana's parking lot and commence our holiday, a DC-area driver rammed into the side of our rental. 'Tis the season!

Alas, while I can't say Thanksgiving in AC was all I had imagined (mostly because my imagined version included winning stacks and stacks of cold hard cash), I can say that it was still kind of awesome -- minus getting rear-ended by some douchebag from Capitol Hill. But let's not dwell on the bad, let's instead review the good: I got out of DC, I spent it with the GTDR! crew and did I mention that $4.99 grilled cheese? Best deal of the night.

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