Thursday, February 21, 2008

oh skeet skeet goddamn

Something about this week just has me referencing Lil' Jon every chance I get. It must be this new decaffeinated green tea I've been imbibing every morning. Or maybe it's the two jiggers of vodka I consume on the hour, every hour. (Am I kidding?! Who knows!) But real or made-up drinking habits aside, I conjured up the sweet sounds of Lil' Jon's 2003 hit "Get Low" for a goddamn (goddamn!) reason: Skeet.

But before your minds wander to places they shouldn't (or should they?!), let me quickly interject that my allusion to this five-letter monosyllabic word doesn't involve anything dirtier than guns and ammo. Yes, I'm talking about my future favorite pastime, skeet shooting.

I don't often preview what I'll write about in future posts (mainly because I, myself, generally never know), but for skeet shooting, I am making an exception. This weekend I am taking a "Learn to Shoot" class. For $25, the Bull Run Shooting Center will provide me with all the ammunition, targets, ear and eye protection and rental guns I need. God bless the USA.

And lest you think I'm taking this class ironically because, apparently, I'm a hipster, I assure you that, while that may be partially true, it is not totally the case. Let me break it down like this: Until I can learn to shoot bullets from my eyes, I will have to learn to use guns.

So with my inauguratory gun class quickly approaching, I'm left to ponder what to wear. Not one to go into anything aesthetically unprepared, I perused a few skeet-shooting sites online and came up with a few choices. Behold the tightness!

There's always the standby flourescent orange blaze orange vest -- a must-have for any sharpshooter.


For a more feminine look, I could go for a hot pink pair of pants skirt um, skants?


Or, since I'll be shooting in the DC area, perhaps a fly pair of pleated khakis could suffice?


But I demand flair! And what better way to bring it than through high-waisted pants, Hawaiian-print shirts and 400 extra pounds? And don't forget the shades!

Seriously, get ready for my best essay ever, and I mean both written and photographic. Trust me: It. Will. Be. Epic.

10 comments:

Beach Bum said...

No, not skants, they're called skorts...

*cringe*

Policy Wonk said...

Can we go ahead and marry this post with the post earlier this week about Beadazzled? That kind of harmony would look a little something like this:

http://www.freepeople.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/products.detail/productID/178181f4-6073-4596-879e-09c6e6f88885/categoryID/1e191eff-7e31-412a-a60b-41f2586d3252

Word.

Policy Wonk said...

And of course, that's the wrong link. Awesome.

http://www.amazon.com/Sterling-Silver-Small-Diamond-Pendant/dp/B000EI219G/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=jewelry&qid=1203641046&sr=1-8

(Re)word.

That other link? That was my illustrative example of why I can never shop at Free People again. I mean, really.

Marissa said...

beach bum--

I think "skorts" is the skirt/shorts combo, no? I was thinking maybe "skants" (agreed, equally bad) was the skirt/pants combo. Is there even such a thing? I don't want to think about it anymore...

policy wonk--

You are so right about Free People. Glorified hippie apparel.

But that second link? I think that would work well with some blaze orange bibs for sure. I'm on it!

the law said...

You know, upon review, I think that lady is rocking hot pink shorts with an enormous fannypack for holding all her ammo. If so, she is an inspiration.

Marissa said...

the law--

Skants, skorts, shorts w/fanny pack...All I know is that she can't wait to get her hands on that gun and that alone is inspiration.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

I can teach you to shoot for free, I am a former police officer :-)

BE safe and have fun

Marissa said...

capitol hill 20210--

As long as The Law doesn't Cheney me, I think I'll be fine. Thanks for the well-wishing!

Beach Bum said...

Marissa, she's not wearing pants though, is she? She looks like she has some weird mesh bag hanging from her waist (or maybe over her shoulder under her jacket?).

Either fashion option is still really really really cringe-worthy, so yeah...

Marissa said...

God only knows. I'll let you know what I find out as that photo was taken at the very place I will be going...I'm so scared yet so curious all at once!