Friday, February 15, 2008

to dpp or ppp? wtf is the question.

I've talked before about my attempts to decorate the barren white walls of my tiny apartment. And being the narcissist that I am, I ultimately decided on adorning my place with photographs I've taken, but that's just because I'm ridiculously talented. Just sayin'.

However, despite my forays into interior decorating, I still find I have quite a bit of wall space to cover. (The square footage of my place might be small, but the wall space is mighty.) I've thought about the obvious choice, commissioning my own life-size self-portrait, but unfortunately, I don't have the means to pay for that at the moment -- at least not in the Western Hemisphere. (As my friend "The Law's" living room wall can attest to, captivating self-portraits can be procured on the cheap in the Eastern Bloc. And as my mom's guest room closet can attest to, captivating self-portraits of you looking like a Russian peasant working on a kolkhoz can also be procured. TOO BAD the peasant woman drawn looks NOTHING LIKE ME. I will always hate you, sir, for wasting my time and my 500 rubles.)

But anyways, back to my present-day conundrum: What else can I put on my walls? The question has haunted me for weeks. But today -- O! This fateful day! -- I may have found the answer.

It was like any other day. I was strutting to work (yes, strutting) when I noticed something different about the frame shop window I pass each day. They had changed the display. I'm not sure what exactly the newly displayed merchandise had replaced, but I didn't care. My eye was caught. I stepped closer to the window and just stared. Probably for five minutes or so. What I was seeing was unbelievably ridiculous. I laughed because I thought it was a joke, but then as I noticed other people walking by and not laughing (some even seemed shocked that I was laughing) I began to realize that I might be the only person who found this display humorous. I understand people here take their politics seriously, but I mean who doesn't find this even the slightest bit amusing:

I mean it's a painting of Carter, Kennedy, Clinton, et al., playing cards! But what's even better about this apparently very serious DC art is the painting hanging directly above it (and I do apologize for the glare).

In my reflection, you can clearly make out Reagan, W. Bush and Eisenhower, again, playing cards. How is this not funny?! Is this not a brilliant play on C.M. Coolidge's perennial dogs-playing-poker paintings, which grace frat houses all across this great nation of ours???

I mean, do people in DC really take these DPP (acronym alert: dogs-playing-poker) presidential parody paintings seriously? Maybe if the presidents were playing street dice or something (you don't f*ck around with street dice), I'd understand people's earnestness, but, COME ON! Presidents playing poker (PPP!) is at least as amusing as dogs playing poker, no?

Anyway, if this "art" wasn't upwards of $300 (!), I'd think about buying one or both just to remind myself each and every day that if we don't have laughter, we have nothing. Well, that's not exactly true. We'd have bad paintings. Wow. That's deep.


BAD said...

who is sitting between Roosevelt and Truman? Andrew Jackson??

I-66 said...

$300?! This is a travesty. Certainly it would cost less to smash the window, grab the painting and run.

Presuming you didn't get caught, I mean.

Marissa said...


You know it! I guess poker is the perfect respite in between killing Indians. Yeah, I said it.


I know! I need to start packing a crowbar with me at all times.

the law said...

wait - were you just standing on the street in front of this store by yourself laughing like a crazy person? thats probably why people were staring. their "shock" was more likely fear/discomfort.

Marissa said...

the law--

Oh, and one can't laugh hysterically to oneself like a crazy person on the street without getting judged? Next you're going to tell me I can't run around the streets naked without getting stared at. What has this world come to?!

PS- I'll shank you.