you've got a big fine couch...back that thing up?

I spend most of my time mocking, scoffing at or trying not to projectile vomit when it comes to most people, activities and other uniquely DC events (life is good!), but every once in a while, something occurs that makes me genuinely glad to have moved here. I've been impressed with some brunch options, on rare occasions some shopping experiences and on even rarer occasions certain encounters with people. And now, I'm happy to report that I have added another item to my list of "Reasons to Live" -- a DC television commercial.

There we were, The Law and I, spending a pretty nice little Saturday lazing around on her fab new couch, catching up on some back episodes of Project Runway, macking on some snacks, hanging up art, making jewelry (sidebar: I'll have a short rant on how I came to fashion my own goddamn jewelry tomorrow) and drinking (duh), when something flashed on her teevee screen that made us rewind the DVR a good four or five times. I'd explain further, but I think it might just be more effective for you to view it yourself (apologies for the poor quality of the recording, however):



Feel free to watch that again...and again...and again because that sh*t is retardulous. And by "retardulous," I mean the best television ad EVER. And possibly the most effective. Remember The Law's "fab new couch" I mentioned? Well, we mulled over returning it, rolling on down to Anacostia "Across from the Big Chair!" and hitting up America's Furniture to find a "big fine couch." We wanted to back our asses up. Unfortunately, it was already 9 p.m. when these two flabby drunk gentlemen graced her television set, so we couldn't just drop everything (but our booze) and go right then. But one day -- one big fine day, if you will -- I will trek down to America's Furniture, possibly definitely draped solely in an American flag, and meet the creative geniuses behind what is unquestionably "The Greatest Commercial of All Time."

I do have one question, however, when the fat white dude is explaining how to purchase furniture around 00:12-00:15, he says "Get your change back in cash!" Um...now I'm no economist, but don't you usually get your change back in cash? Like, isn't that the definition of "change"? Whatevs, I'll get my "cash check" and, apparently, "it'll be my birthday." Solid.