Thursday, August 20, 2009


Remember that game seven minutes in heaven where awkward kids demand that other awkward kids spend seven awkward minutes in a closet talking about how they don't want to make out with each other?

Or maybe that happens only in the movies.

Anyway, this is The Anti DC's seven minutes in heaven, in which my computer and I get together in the seven minutes I have of Internet access to see what we can do. I wanted to lick the screen, but the computer said no...ahhh...

So here we are. I've already wasted two minutes writing those paragraphs so I better make these last five good because there are no edits here. If I blow this chance, I will never have another. Until tomorrow when I have regular access to the Internet again. Then I suppose I have all the time I want.

I'm a bit nervous. This wasn't planned.

I guess I'll just blog my observations. I'm in New York and there are lots of people around me. I know, that's a horrible image. I shouldn't be let out in public unsupervised. Not to mention, people are gross.

The thing is, these people are so much more interesting to watch than most of those in DC. Mainly because I haven't seen one ill-fitting suit and tie. What I do see is a man in bright purple argyle socks, a teenage boy in short shorts and a baby with a top hat.

OK, that last one I made up. I'm hoping my computer will like me more if I lie to it.

It doesn't.

Wait, no. Actually, there goes a baby in a top hat. Goddamn, I love New York.

And now, I've been told I only have a minute remaining. I will use that minute to post this photo of David Hasselhoff in black panties:

Time's up. My computer is no longer speaking to me.


Anonymous said...

I continue to be amazed at the depth and breadth of your David Hasselhoff photo archive.

-Anonymous Brian

Matt said...

I hope your computer, at least, still respects you.

That Hoff pic is very unsettling to me... Not so much the iffy-lookin' chest hair or the package-hair peepin' out... Maybe it is the entirely soul-less eyes above that pasted on fake smile? The (non- Gangsta) too-short sleeves? The thumbs that are obviously hooked into them panties, ready to whip 'em down at the slightest threat of interest? It is all too scary.

I could handle the Hoff on a swing, but this? Hand me the steel-wool and Comet. I need to scrub my eyes.

Caitlin said...

This reminded me of you:

Brian said...

If you're gonna post that pic, do it right :)

Anonymous said...

well played non-Anonymous Brian! And Caitlin!

-Anonymous Brian

Paul said...

Are your drunk? This sounds like my thinking when I am drunk.

Marissa said...

anonymous brian--

There are so many more...


My computer's never respected me.


I'll have you know, I just spit out my breakfast beans. Hilarious!


Oh snap! My breakfast beans shot out of my nose this time! This is too much...NO IT'S NOT. I will look at this every day.


Drunk on life. I was challenged by my travel companion and I won. Sadly, my life has come down to blog betting...I really should turn to alcohol.

Patty Duke said...

This must be from his Y&R days (Young and the Restless). Am I dating myself?

Anonymous said...

But wait. What happened to this David Hasselhoff??