Tuesday, August 18, 2009

not really breaking news...but...

Crowned "King Douche" not long ago by this very blog, conservative columnist and road hazard Bob Novak died this morning.

Although not to be confused with the Grand Duke of Doucheville and Lil' Lord Doucheington, Novak really fulfilled the duties of his role well. He provided us with endless entertainment and more than a few scandal-sparking articles, ahem, Valerie Plame. (I'm sure she will miss him.) And while I must admit I feel much better about riding my bicycle on the streets now, this is truly is a sad occasion.

Yet as we mourn this loss (and, honestly, as much of an asshole as I can be I admit this really is a loss whether you think he's a conservative crackpot or a genius), I can't help but wonder, who will become the next King Douche?

If we can learn anything from the great Stewie Griffin, it's that douches of such great magnitude are not easily replaced...



RIP.

9 comments:

Ben (The Tiger in DC) said...

Noticed a tendency to follow grumpy old conservative men here... What's with that?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what is it with you and guys like us?
-JD

Anonymous said...

...but in all seriousness, though, don't you at least respect the fact that he was an old school reporter who went out and dug up material for his columns? Most columnists just sit back and comment on whatever is in the news. Novak actually uncovered news. He was a Shambles PI, Sven the Helper Horse, and Marissa Payne all in one gremlin-like package.
-JD

Brian said...

I'd say John Edward, but that would really be a step down. I believe he's still the biggest douche in the universe...

Marissa said...

ben--

I am kind of a grumpy conservative old man at heart. Can you not tell? That is why I love Facebook so much. It allows me to talk about myself in the third person just like Bob Dole. Marissa Payne loves that.

jd--

Of course I respect the man. If I didn't respect him, he'd garner no place on this blog. I think he did lose his mind a bit in his later years, though. I mean, really...

brian--

That's not a bad choice. Cheating is not OK. Just get divorced and then have your bastard children, I say!

Brian said...

Actually, I was referring John Edward the psychic, not John Edwards the ambulance chaser and politician.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/153799/?tab=related

Or if you're interested in learning more about him: http://www.johnedward.net/ or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Edward

Ben (The Tiger in DC) said...

Your oft-expressed love for John McLaughlin should have clued me in, yes...

FoggyDew said...

How about George Will? I used to respect him, but he's grown more shrill as the years have passed.

Marissa said...

brian--

Funny story about John Edward the Psychic. My mother and her friend went to one of his sessions and apparently he creepily knew shit. Take that for what it is.

ben--

Ba-BYE! I love that bitch.

foggydew--

Good ol' George Will! He might just be a douche squire.