For anyone who lives in DC, I'm sure you're familiar with how sh*tty customer service generally is here. For instance, just the other day I stood in line at Blockbuster (yes, sometimes I'm old school) just tryin' to rent Harold & Maude (I told you I was old school) while two employees did absolutely nothing and one tried rather fruitlessly to work the brainless technology required to take $3.99 from customers and give them their chosen merchandise in return.It really shouldn't be that hard. (That's what she said. Actually, no she probably didn't say that.)
I mean, take my four dollars. In fact, keep the change. I'm in a generous mood.
Just let me go watch this:
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I had a very strange experience yesterday during which a customer service provider went above and beyond what I requested. I won't beat around the bush here (you'll get that pun in a short second), but let's just say I had a certain kind of grooming done that went a little too far. And now it's bald!
And now I feel like a pedophile every time I change my pantaloons. On the non-plucked turkey side, however, the woman who made me feel young in an incredibly creepy way again did a very good job -- so good that I had no idea that that's what she was doing. I'd give you the name and place where she works, but I almost feel embarrassed to in case one day she Googles herself and comes across this post. Because, well, let's be honest, it's pretty messed up that I didn't realize to what extent she was, well, we'll just say "Googling" me. But seriously, everything happened so fast that by the time I realized what exactly was going on it was already half gone.
By the way, you're welcome for all this wonderful imagery. I hope your next Thanksgiving is fantastic.
Hmm...
And so it's come to this. After 457 posts, who knew my 458th would end up being such a heartwarming tale of DC's excellent cuntomer service. But I guess if there's one service DC excels at, it might as well be this. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go register myself under Megan's law.
8 comments:
so was the harold and maude thing a result of the new commercials with the cat stevens song? because i had the same yen and then remembered the plot of harold and maude and immediately felt dirty.
Interesting choice, going with the turkey instead of the more obvious clam...
Let me know the general vicinity of where this woman works, so that I can say clear of her. Going to her could wreak havoc on my marriage.
i'm going to go out on a limb and assume this experience wasn't vlogged...
-anonymous brian
p.s. i'm speaking of corse about the blockbuster experience
no faith in humanity--
First off, dig the name. Second, I had never seen Harold and Maude till the other day. I'm am a dumbass when it comes to movies (and several other things). But yeah, now I can't see that commercial without thinking of grandma sex.
brian--
I didn't want to be too dirty. (By the way, that made me choke on my beans from laughing.)
patty--
Or it could spice up your marriage. You'll be happy to know that she also went ahead and told me male Brazilians are also very popular but "The scrotum is very sensitive!" Insert Central American accent.
anonymous brian--
Beans again just shot out my nose. But no, don't expect this to be on the Interwebz anytime soon. Although I'll tell you her apprentice was in the room and at one point she was like, "See what I did here." And then the apprentice leaned in a little too close. I may or may not have seen a camera flash...
Beans just shot out my nose, reading this post. And I'm not even eating any!
debbi--
Beans have a way of magically appearing. Or something. Clearly, I've lost it.
yeah, i really can't figure out how a film about an ancient pedophile became "the greatest love story of our time"...there a lot of perverts out there
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