And while I've never sported legit underoos to the office, I did sport a semi-hookeriffic ensemble the other day.
Hookin' in the a.m.!
I'll give you a moment to recover from the blinding whiteness of my legs...
*You whistle and watch the moments tick by as you continue to see white spots in the shape of my legs as if a camera's flash just went off*
*Meanwhile, I Google "self-tanners"...*
And we're back. I recognize this outfit is a little ridiculous for work, perhaps even retardulous, and so I expect to get some sort of critical, but light-hearted comments from a couple of my coworkers. In this case, I got "little German boy in Lederhosen" and "why are you wearing hot pants?" It was all in good fun, till I cut them. Just kidding! No one was shanked.
I must add, though, I kind of want to shiv DC's heat index. After spending a number of days in lovely Las Vegas last week, I grew accustomed to dry heat. Sure it was hovering around 100 degrees (that's 40 degrees Celsius for you non-Amurricans), but it never felt as hot and sticky as it does here, even the other day when the thermometer hovered around 65 (18) when I got up. Effing humidity. Which is why I decided to mix my seasonal gear with my slightly Bavarian-inspired outfit the other day.
It's true, sweat still dripped down my proverbial balls (thank you Lil' Jon for that unforgettable, yet incredible apropos lyric) because of the humidity, but my buttocks was nice and air-conditioned as I rode my trusty bicycle, Baguette, up and down Connecticut Ave. that day, dodging the apparent plethora of blind drivers that seemed to be on the road.
But more important than the shorts, which, note to someone in my office, are definitely nowhere near as short as hot pants, is the T-shirt. I bought it recently in New York City at a store called Uniqlo (a.k.a. the Japanese Gap), which I've discussed before. The loose cut is kind of perfect for humid days and the design on the front is just plain tight.
And the deer's neck won't even turn green!
This shirt appeals to me on so many levels. First, I really enjoy venison (I'm from Minnesota, where roadkill is a seasonal staple). Second, I enjoy optical illusions, and this shirt does a find job with that. The detail in the "chain" is blog-worthy -- it's stitched in with gold thread -- and the "medallion" is gold-to-the-max screenprinting. Together, the whole thing almost looks real. Hmm...kinda like a modern version of Plato's allegory of the cave, no? A little? You know, without the shackles, fire, shadows and cave? Now do you see it? Whatever, I tried.
By the way, on a completely different note, besides Atomic Experiments for Boys, I'm also reading linguist Steven Pinker's latest work, The Stuff of Thought, which brings up Plato's allegory as a way to illustrate how we might understand the meanings of words. If you're interested in communication, language, writing, speaking, listening, human behavior, or anything of the sort and want a thought-provoking, witty read, I suggest either taking a trip to the library or jumping on Amazon.com to obtain a copy. Or, if you can wait another couple of weeks, you can borrow mine. It's both baffling and fascinating how little we know about how our minds work. Or well, perhaps, how little I know about how my mind works...
What does work, however, is the Rock & Roll Hotel, which is hosting a DC's own New Rock Church of Fire, a group that not only has christened itself with possibly the best name ever, but the band is also taking steps to carry on the tradition of the great Fugazi, one of the few reasons I heart DC, or at least the DC of yesteryear. Anyway, doors are at 9 p.m. tonight and it's $10 to get in, but there's probably $2 Sparks, so you can make up for the money you spend on a cab with giving you liver a workout. I'm the Richard Simmons of liver fitness.