Sunday, December 28, 2008

happy preemptive new year!

I truly hope everyone thoroughly enjoyed their celebrations of Christmahanakwanzakuh this year. I know I did! Except for the part when my mom and I decided to break tradition of not doing anything Christmas-y (or Hanakwanzakuh-y) on Christmas and instead opted to make a home-cooked meal. Apparently, Santa brought me kitchen skillz this year. And this time I didn't unnecessarily harm myself. In fact, I didn't even necessarily harm myself, which I suppose, means I did thoroughly enjoy that experience.

What I really didn't enjoy was when my mom and I went to see Seven Pounds and for the first time in my life, Will Smith did not make me simply miss DJ Jazzy Jeff, which means I guess this was a really good movie. However, the character Smith played made me feel like a 17th-century sufferer of melancholia, meaning when we returned to my mom's house later I naturally treated the condition by making a broth of laurel, white hellebore, bugloss, marigold and pennyroyal, and, of course, I let a little blood with horse leeches. Then, seeing as it was Christmas, I thought what better time for a bit of transubstantiation in reverse than now? But, on second thought, that seemed like a really bad and quite revolting idea (Jesus would, in fact, not do that), so I decided to watch a whole lot of cable television instead.

Indeed, it was a grand holiday.

But I must admit, as New Year's dawns, I'm not that sorry to see 2008 go, as I'm absolutely certain 2009 will punch 2008 in its proverbial face. For example, I started off 2008 sitting in my apartment feeling sick and missed my flight to New York City. Juxtapose that to this year when I'll be in effing Nicaragua hopefully not getting framed for murder. I'll also be learning how to surf! So, unlike my past cooking fiascoes of 2008, when I hurt myself in 2009, it will be well-worth it.

Unfortunately, while I'll be scouting out the best medical treatments in Central America for the next week and a half, I won't be blogging. That is, I won't be available to make you feel slightly better about your own life by oversharing the shambles of my own. But, hey, nothing makes the heart grow fonder than a little distance, especially e-distance.

So, with that in mind, allow me to preemptively wish you a Happy New Year! I'll e-see you next year (possibly in a full-body cast). Ciao!


Scotus said...

"The fact that there is no hair, nor semen, nor saliva, nor fingerprints from Eric Volz or the other young man does not signify they weren't there," said Ibarra, the prosecutor."

Yikes. I think the key to not getting framed for murder in Nicaragua is not talking to anyone, making eye contact, or even leaving your hotel room. Otherwise, it's probably going to happen.

I-66 said...

Happy new year, Goose. If you don't make it back from Nicaragua, can I have Baguette?

Marissa said...


My rape whistle is now a "don't frame me for murder" whistle. I hope it works.


Baguette will always belong to Goose, Goose. If you don't hear from me in 10 days, my rickety old bike that barely works is yours. Lucky!

LiLu said...

Have an absolutely blast. And be prepared to look AMAZING when you get back- I was joking today that I wanted to go back to CR to lose my holiday poundage. Only I wasn't kidding at all, because I don't think I've ever looked as good as I did after two weeks of sun, sand, surfing, and seafood. ENJOY!!! And happy New Year!

Marissa said...


Thanks! Sun, sand, surf...and booze and gambling. It's like paradise.