Monday, June 29, 2009

i'm still tired

I drew this picture this weekend:

Not only does it reveal I have the artistic talent of a 5-year-old, but my frustration at life is also evident in its large swirly lines and chaotic loops. Unfortunately, this e-penned frustration isn't simply metaphorical. Oh no, it's a fairly accurate representation of the route my SuperShuttle driver took to get from Baltimore International Airport to my freaking house, represented in my art as a delicious can of beans, on Friday.

I kid you not, I was in that cherry-scented blue van for THREE HOURS. Of course, I understand SuperShuttle works as a shared taxi, so I would have to wait for the driver to drop off those people whose homes or hotels may logically come before mine on the route. However, that's assuming the route isn't retarded.

And this route was, indeed, exceptionally retarded. I mean, look at it!

The first stop was in Petworth on Georgia Avenue.

The next stop, My Hobo Lair in Columbia Heights, should've been mine. But it wasn't. To my surprise, the driver turned around and went back up toward Maryland -- Silver Spring, Rockville, Bethesda, some other suburban sh*t that all blended together.

Did I mention after a series of delays and cancellations, my flight didn't land until 12:30 a.m., so this ridiculous escapade was all happening in the middle of the night. I was tired. But imagine how excited I was when there was only one couple and me left in the van. Alas! I would get home soon! Until the driver said this:

"Miss! Do you mind if I drop you off last?"

Mind you, while he asked my that he had already turned onto 495 headed toward Virginia.

"Uh. Are we heading to Virginia?"

"Yes. Next stop Dulles."

"Dulles?! Seriously? You do realize I should've been dropped off second when you were in Petworth."

"Yes. I see that now."

"Now," however, was way too late as we headed toward Dulles, where we ended up driving around the long-term lot to find this couple's car (apparently, their flight got diverted into BWI). Finally, at 3:15 a.m. we were back on I-66.

Oh wait, no. That would be too logical. Instead, he went back on 495 into Maryland again. Then decided to take the George Washington Parkway down through Virginia. That's when I started to feel like this SuperShuttle had turned into a SuperRapeVan. This made no sense whatsoever.

Luckily, possibly because I had been traveling since 6 a.m. and smelled of my own BO and had an "I'm not afraid to murder you in self defense" look in my eye, no crimes were committed. Unless, of course, charging me $37 for a three-hour kidnapping is a crime. I'd file charges if I could.

Finally, after the driver/no-longer-potential-rapist ignored my directions to take 15th Street, which is the only street in DC with timed lights, we made it to My Hobo Lair roughly 30 minutes later. It was about 4 in the morning.

He didn't get a tip.

But I'm back! At least long enough for me to plan my next escape. But don't worry, I'll let you all know the travel dates so you can avoid shared van rides and flights those days. Because if you don't, you'll either be stuck in a shady vehicle with a shady and/or simply idiotic driver, or your flight will be canceled repeatedly. Yet still, that might be better than being in DC...


me! said...

Wow, you should call super shuttle and complain. I was in one in NYC where 1 guy nearly missed his flight and an Italian couple almost got out of the shuttle and took a cab because it was getting too close to their flight time. That was my never again moment.

Daniel said...

Yeah, if you're ever coming back during metro hours, and you have to use BWI, it's usually quicker, cheaper, and more painless to take the Green Line to Greenbelt, and then catch the MetroBus that shuttles up to BWI. It still sucks, but it usually only takes about an hour and a half, and there's no loops.

Daniel said...

D'oh! There ARE no loops.

Ben (The Tiger) said...

Your first sketch looks like an elephant, and your second looks like an elephant about to step on a can of beans.

Am still amazed by your ability to scramble travel-providing entities by your mere presence...

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the BS you put up with. Unfortunately the DC and San Fran markets are the 2 with the most customer service challenges.
Send an email to SS corporate in Scottsdale,AZ to Ken Testani:
relate your story or even just cutNpaste your blog and he should take care of your trip. If you have your Van # available that helps. Ken is a good guy.
Those of us that make our living with the BlueVan get really pissed when we hear stories like yours. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

A Phoenix.AZ Shuttle owner

Norman said...

Dear Marissa,

If you could, please don't travel between the 3rd & 6th of July.

Your Loving Fan,


Norman said...


patrick b said...

this is a classic! Best post ever! Sorry you had to live it to write it.

Anonymous said...

I had a similar experience taking a shuttle from BWI to Dupont Circle.....via Annapolis.

Anonymous said...

Did you have this bad of luck traveling in and around Russia? DC might be rubbing off on you and ruining your life.


p.s. Despite your bad luck, it's good to see you weren't on the Red Line last Monday

Peter said...

Someday you'll realize that the safest way to travel is to stay home and take hallucinogens.

Marissa said...


The thing is I've always been very pleased with their service. I'm hoping this is a fluke, but I think I will write the company...


Yeah, I left during a weekday, so I was able to ride dirty on the MARC. That was pretty sweet. But on Friday, er, Saturday, it was a choice between sleeping in the airport til morning or the SuperShuttle. I clearly made the wrong decision.


I see the elephant now. And my ability to bring planes to a stop? It's magic.


Thanks! I will send them an email!


Lucky for you, I will be in the Capital of the Free World this holiday.


Wow! Thanks! I'd live through it again just to write about it :)


Annapolis? See, why don't they just set up two f*cking vans. Are times that freaking tough?!


No. Russia is surprisingly easier to travel around. Although I did almost get stuck in Kyrgyzstan once because they don't let single females take one-way flights to Turkey. And I guess I had another incident in Georgia when I found out the Internet didn't exist at the airport and therefore the e-ticket I booked also didn't exist...Jeez...maybe it is me!


You may be onto something...