you can't handle the truthiness!

Humor is the best medicine...for curing lameness. No, really. Had the crowd of interns, aides, representatives and other Hill people (that sounds like a horror movie), deigned even to crack a smirk at Stephen Colbert's in-character appearance in the halls of Congress, I'd be proud. I'd also question whether I was in DC or not. See, DC is a rather humorless town. See for yourself here, where you'll hear and see some of Colbert's objectively hilarious one-liners fall on seemingly deaf ears. Either people are seriously *that* humorless in this town or they're simply scared to laugh. Supreme Douche Gods of Congress forbid that they appear even the slightest bit un-lame and, therefore, lose any chance they ever thought they had of running for office on an anti-diddling platform. Seriously, what the f*ck has America come to?

And what has this blog come to? I'm not a very politically minded person (I still vote for Pedro), but when I see sh*t as dumb as people not laughing at/with the objectively hilarious Stephen Colbert it sets off something in the cold, dark, crevice where my heart should be. It not only reveals what's wrong with Washington, but it shines a disco-ball of d-bag on what's wrong with this entire nation.

How is it not clear how beneficial it was that Stephen Colbert came to the Hill? Invited by House Judiciary subcommittee chairwoman Zoe Lofgren (D-Calif.), he was not a guest because of the information he could provide (which is why it's not a big deal that Mr. Colbert decided to give his testimony in character, as I'm sure he's smart enough to recognize the absurdity of his invitation), but because of the attention he could draw to the issue via his celebrity. In an odd moment for any member of Congress, that's smart! I mean, really, had she not invited him and instead stuck to Congress's usual methods of inviting cherry-picked (pun intended) "experts," how many people do you think would've thought twice (or even once, actually) about the plight of migrant workers? I'm willing to guess most people don't look at their lettuce and think, "How did it get here on my plate?" If anything, as Mr. Colbert suggested, they're looking at their Whoppers® more likely wondering what that green leaf on it even is. Maybe now that will change.

But really, as I sit here dipping my morning microwave-friendly processed sausage links pre-wrapped in a pancake made of monodextrin into maple-flavored corn syrup (I'm as American as they get!) I can't help but think of the delicious deep-fried irony we've created for ourselves in this nation. When straying from the status quo of being boring, overly politically correct, and humorless, Congress gets frazzled, outraged, or in House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer's (D-Md.) case, embarrassed. Republicans, too, sat through the hearing stone-faced, some (Peter King, R-Iowa) asking for Mr. Colbert to leave (he refused). And let's not forget about so many of America's illogically relevant political tastemakers. Foxnews.com (SURPRISE!) published an opinion piece calling Colbert's appearance a "disgrace," among other things.

Oh, yes. Colbert's appearance on the committee as part of a well thought out, calculated publicity stunt is simply outrageous! Yet somehow, continuing to complain about migrant workers whilst making no steps to change a system that has become dependent on them is perfectly acceptable. As is continuing to not allow homosexuals to serve in the military and freaking out about a proposal to build a "mosque," which isn't really a mosque, apparently anywhere on the island of Manhattan. These and other truly embarrassing policies/issues have become the status quo. These are the policies that allow hypocritical "family values" assholes to go from would-be cat ladies to viable Senatorial candidates. Seriously, what the f*ck has happened?

And while I expect Glenn Beck's butt-buddies to dislike the Colbert appearance (haters gonna hate), the fact that Rep. Hoyer has his head so far up the stodgy anus of political correctness that he doesn't seem to understand the greater good of exploiting celebrity and humor to attract attention to a cause makes it hard to believe we're headed for somewhere other than a pit of doom. I mean, the fact that one of the most reasonable voices on the Hill these days is Stephen Colbert -- in character! -- is probably a sign of the government apocalypse. The second sign was when even the audience members at the hearing seemed utterly unmoved by Colbert's razor-sharp wit (seriously, why does DC reject everything awesome?!). And the third, of course, would be the actual election of a member of a group that unknowingly named their crew after a crude sexual act because *that's* how much they care about such concepts as research and implementation, you know, things that used to be important when creating laws and policy...

Really, the only cure for this madness is laughter and I really hope there comes a time (and it comes soon) when we can look back at this hopefully short era of extreme douchiness and laugh hard at it. Unfortunately, right now, it's not that funny...