yeah, it's about my cat

You know what the Internet needs more of? Cats. Obviously. And this is coming from a person who doesn't really even like cats, except for my own, Humphrey, because 1) he isn't one of those sneaky, stare-you-down-and-steal-your-soul cats, and 2) his idea of a good time is being passed out in hilarious positions. So, while his lazy ass has proven rather dismal for my viral video aspirations (he refuses to give me human hugs, jump in and out of boxes like a fat little ninja, play the keyboard, fly off a ceiling fan for lolz, or really, even move), he's least has accidentally posed for some wonderfully hilarious photos, like this one:



Incidentally, I'm pretty sure this picture would not only serve as the cover of my cat's memoirs should he ever grow opposable thumbs and learn to write, but also its entire contents, which is awesome because it's cute.

And to think, at one point Lil' Humps was livin' on the mean streets. I KNOW! Luckily, however, somehow last January he ended up in the Humane Society out on New York Ave., where I saw him and thought, "Yup, today's a good day to save an animal's life." And while I'm convinced I obviously adopted the best one, there are surely (and sadly) some other abandoned, lazy, fat adult cats waiting for their shot at Internet fame.

Oh, and also a good home.

So, if you think you can handle the stress of owning a pet, which for me has mostly meant keeping his fat ass away from my dinner, I suggest you all visit a shelter near you. And why not today? In honor of Humphrey's third(ish) -- no one knows for sure -- birthday! That's right, it's apparently Lil' Humps' birthday, which I only remember because CityPaws pet clinic sent my cat a personalized e-card this morning. (By the way, if you need a vet, I highly recommend CP because, holy sh*t! They remembered my cat's birthday!) In response, my cat said, "Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

In closing, save lives, post funny cat-related material on the Internet and be merry, or hairy, as is the case with Humphrey. Have a sweltering hot weekend, snooze-filled weekend.