make it stop

Have you ever felt like you were being watched? I do all the time. But that's probably because I practically beg for it (see all the episodes of The Anti DC Show...please, please, please!). However, if I'm going to be peeped upon, I like to make sure it's on my terms, so when it's not -- that is, when I get the feeling that someone's watching me who I haven't invited -- things just get awkward. Which is why I'm scared to read the Washington Post online today. I just can't after what I experienced yesterday...

Ahhh! Why is there a creepy Stepford wife watching me attempt to read the e-paper? And moreover, why does she think I probably own an oil company? Why does she smirk whilst asking such silly questions? Why is she dressed all in black like an undertaker? WHAT IS GOING ON???

I have no idea. In a case lesson in ineffective marketing, all this ad made me do was mix up a Molotov cocktail and throw it at the screen. Luckily, however, my cat with his, well, cat-like reflexes, was able to catch and extinguish the homemade weaponry before any personal property damage could be done. (He really doesn't want to lose his window to the e-world.)

Meanwhile, witnessing the kerfuffle, Anti DC Creative Director Terry the Tourette's Turtle exclaimed, "BIG SWEATY BALLS!" and shot me with a tranquilizer gun (this is why I didn't blog yesterday) before taking the above screen capture of this most disturbing ad for, um, something. Clearly, I didn't dare click on it.

While perhaps I overreacted in my trying to eradicate this ad from my life through violent weaponry, I'm apt to think others probably felt a bit violated by this ad, too. It's just weird. The woman looks like an alien abductress and she's staring at you from three angles! This is quite an untoward disturbance. Can't I read about "Bach-mania" in peace?!?! On second thought, perhaps this failure of an ad actually saved me. I mean, do I really want to read about "Bach-mania?"

But here's the scoop: I've come across creepy advertisements before. And every time not only am I confused about what's being advertised, but my belief in the goodness of humanity is tested. Why do such bad ads exist? Who are the idiots who come up with them? Who are the idiots who OK them? Most importantly, are there morons out there who've actually found these ads effective? If there are then I guess that explains why "Bach-mania" exists in the first place... In either case, it just doesn't make any sense. It's like telling a Dalai Lama joke to the actual Dalai Lama.



#FAIL