dale city: takin' in the [swisher] sweet sights

On our way to the shady gun show, The Law and I took in the sights of Dale City from the windows of our little red ZipCar Volvo (unfortunately, all the pick-ups had been scooped up). We saw the bank, the gas station, the other gas station and, of course, all the finest dining establishments Dale City, "The Friendliest Little Town Around," has to offer.

We saw the Taco Bell, the McDonalds, the Burger King, the Subway (EAT FRESH!), the Pizza Hut and, indeed, the other Pizza Hut. That second Pizza Hut (because one is not enough!) is such a hot spot, it seems, that it received its own square from the city. Behold! Forestdale Square!


Sure, most town squares have things like the mayor's office or city hall or, at the very least, a mini-mall. But not Dale City. Dale City makes no apologies: Pizza Hut is Forestdale Square; Forestdale Square is Pizza Hut. And everything else can go f*ck itself, says Forestdale Square's Pizza Hut.

By the way, Forestdale Square is located just off Smoketown Road, which I'm assuming is just around the corner from Swisher Sweet Lane.

And on the topic of Swisher Sweets (you know, those epitome-of-trashy flavored plastic-tipped "cigarellos" favored by your my high school prom date) -- are these the new late-night smoke of choice? Now, I don't smoke, so I don't really keep up with the hottest trends in tobacco, but on Saturday I spotted not one, but two separate instances of people puffing away in their cars on Swisher Sweets. Both were women. One black, one white. One was driving on (ironically enough) Smoketown Road, and the other was at 14th and U Street in the city. Of course, she was in a car with Virginia plates, though. I'm going to go with logic here and simply deduce that the second woman actually lives in Dale City. And works at the Forestdale Square Pizza Hut.

Swish! Sweet. Keep it classy, Dale City! Keep it as classy as Crystal City, if that's even possible. And stay gold!