yellow pants are tight

I've been thinking quite a bit about feelings lately. You know, basically how I can offend the greatest amount of people with the least amount of effort. As it turns out, that's surprisingly easy to do. In fact, all I have to do is breath.

I pissed a cab driver off yesterday for getting into his cab. He tried to charge my friend and I separately to sit in his cab (which is total bullsh*t, by the way, so if some shady dumbass driver tries to pull that scheme on you, let him know you're willing to take it up with the police).

Then this morning, while commuting via Baguette to work, I nearly got clotheslined by a douchebag exiting his car. There was a bit of a scuffle, which may or may not have resulted in a scratch or two on his vehicle (I didn't stick around long enough to check and Baguette came out unscathed), but this bitch had the nerve to yell at me. Um, now I've found logic to be an elusive quality in the Capital of the Free World, but it seems to me that if someone HITS YOU, it should be on his back to apologize. Just sayin'.

And truthfully, I'm surprised he didn't see me coming out of the corner of his eye, as to compensate for the gloom and doom that is this week for me at work (thanks to the House and Senate both, um, doing their jobs and actually marking up a few bills -- trust me, I'm as surprised as you!), I decided to wear the brightest, sunniest, most cheery yellow tight pants I own:

Happy fun sunshine time, heyyy!

Yeah, those are zippers at the ankles, indeed! But let's move on to the footwear. Gladiator sandals are all the rage this season, and I'd been looking for metallic ones for quite some time, however, the only pair (until now) that I had truly liked were upwards of $330 (scroll down to see the Helena in graphite). Yeah.

Luckily, last Friday, when I was picking up a few last minute travel items at Bed, Bath and Beyond (their travel section is AMAZING), I decided to stop by the Marshall's located just beneath it in the DC USA shopping complex in Columbia Heights. Lo and behold, amid all the schlock and rows of flip-flops (ugh), I found the pair pictured here for just $25.

Note to self: Stop over-boozing. My shakes are not helping my photog skills, clearly.

They came in pewter (pictured, um, sorta) and bronze. (For a better image, check out them out here.) If you want a pair, I suggest you hit that sh*t up now, as this was the only decent-looking shoe in the bunch, I won't lie (I'm not a fan of that Marshalls...), and with a discount of over 50 percent, it's kind of an unbeatable deal. They run super big, however, so you're probably going to want to size down. And lastly, they actually seem pretty well made so when I have to kick a cab driver in the teeth for trying to rip me off or a driver in the throat for yelling at me after he hit me, I think these would hold up just fine. Afterall, the Goose of Justice can't always be around to help you out of a jam.