Wednesday, December 10, 2008

o! horror of all horrors!

Imagine my excitement when I read earlier today this sentence on The Huffington Post: "The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reports that a probe has been launched into Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman." A probe?!?!?! How exciting!

However, imagine my disappointment when I realized that that wasn't actually a full sentence, but simply a fragment and the full sentence really read, "The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reports that a probe has been launched into Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman's ties to businessman Nasser Kazeminy."

GODDAMMIT.

Despite my off-the-shoulder love for you, Mr. Coleman, I don't know if I can help you out of this pickle. According to the story, "Federal investigators are looking into allegations that a longtime friend and benefactor tried to steer money to U.S. Sen. Norm Coleman..."

WTF?! Norm used to be the delicious cherry on my cupcake...literally!

This is seriously on my office wall. Jealous?!?!?

Apparently, this Nasser Kazeminy tried to shove $100,000 in Norm's pockets via his stupid bitch's wife's Minneapolis employer.

That explains it. If Norm was married to me this never would've happened. I guess all that's left to do is poor a little water out of the office water cooler for him because this certainly won't help his already tight (and not in a good way) campaign.

But larger question: Are politicians a lot stupider than the used to be (ahem, Rod Blagojevich and Jesse Jackson, Jr.) or is the FBI just really on its game lately?

4 comments:

Freewheel said...

If you were Norm's wife, I'm confident you'd be able to pull in millions in bribes instead of chump change ($100,000).

Marissa said...

I will take that as a compliment. Seriously, if you're going to take a bribe, at least make it meaningful...

FoggyDew said...

It's probably a combination of things. The Feebs haven't busted anyone good in a long time so politicians began to believe they could get away with anything. So they tried and now the Feebs are getting to bust them. Cool.

maryjanejeff said...

Coleman down +251

http://www.startribune.com/

I know I'm late to the bash, haven't been here in a while.