Sunday, May 10, 2009

hmd

I know my mom reads this blog. And I know she's probably ashamed of me (even more) for it. So, why not utilize Mother's Day to exercise synergy and finally publicly acknowledge the two with a lovely Anti DC Original E-Greeting Card For Those Who Want To Simultaneously Impress and Alienate?!


And while I won't be spending the day with my mother due to distance, we will be meeting up next week to celebrate the only way we know how -- at the casino. Seriously. And mom? I'm gonna take you to the finest comped buffet at Foxwoods. You're welcome. Hell, maybe we'll even go halfsies on a $5-footlong. My treat.

Sincerely,

Your Unemployed Offspring

P.S. -- You'll lend me some seed money for the tables, right? Or at least the $5 needed to purchase that footlong...

10 comments:

Phil said...

You could also add in Trishelle from the Real World Vegas on that card. She kind of looks like those two. In fact, I think she is the offspring of both (lush/sex addict)

Anonymous said...

I couldn't be prouder. You are just like me!

Marissa said...

phil: I'm not quite sure whether to be flattered or offended. For one, apparently it's not instantly clear that I was once labeled the lush (although, this ran in a Moscow rag where everyone was a lush), or whether to be offended because any future kids I may accidentally have may turn out to be Trishelle from The Real World. Hmm...interesting thought experiment, indeed.

mom: So you're also underemployed selling dildos to the Georgetown public? Wow!

Patty Duke said...

Hmm, former sex slave, sex shop worker, eh I got nothing.

Ned Schneebly said...

I am in awe and I'm left speechless.

Marissa said...

patty: The bright side is that it's sex shop worker and not just sex worker.

ned: So's my mom.

Phil said...

Well, Trishelle is pretty hot, except that she's a drunken tramp.

Ben (The Tiger in Exile) said...

Is that graphic an indirect way for the author here to call herself luscious?

Marissa said...

phil: Drunken tramp. New goal? I'll think about it.

ben: In no way was I behind this comparison. This was actually published in a now-defunct Moscow-based newspaper called The eXile.

Ben (The Tiger in Exile) said...

The eXile?

I remember that paper! (Haven't seen a copy since July 2002, but I remember it well -- it made fun of Moroccan refugees. (They deserved it.))