Thursday, May 28, 2009

skinny and dumb

According to a new and probably questionable study, Washington, DC, is the "fittest" city in America.

The American College of Sports Medicine decided this on the following criteria provided by the government:

• Availability of parks, walking and bike trails and public transportation.

• Percentage of people who exercise regularly, maintain a healthy weight and eat the recommended daily servings of fruits and vegetables.

• Percentage of people who have access to health care and have health insurance.

• Percentage of people who don't smoke.

And here I thought it was because the take-out options in this town blow...

And speaking of blowing (that came out weird), let's talk about the public transportation, and specifically, this new propaganda imploring people to be polite on the trains.

Now, is it just me, or is it $9-scrunchie sad that grown-ups have to be reminded to treat each other like, well, grown-ups?

The best line, in my opinion, was about the handicap seats, for which the video reminds grown-ups that they should "give these seats up for the elderly or disabled." Fair enough. But then the video says this: "If you are unable ... to perform these functions, please find another seat." Uh, let's see. If you're unable to give up your handicapped seat for someone who's disabled, MAYBE IT MEANS YOU'RE ALSO DISABLED. So in effect, the video should really say, "If you are unable to perform these functions, then, um, remain seated, I guess..."

But seriously, is this necessary? Then again, considering the great majority of the human race is populated by legitimate morons, maybe I'm being too quick to judge this video as a waste of taxpayer money. Although judging from the animation, a dollarmenuaire could have paid for this production. However, those are dollars that could've been spent on a delicious and nutritious $5-footlongs from Subway®. I mean, we gotta stay fit for the city, right? And Subway is pretty much the best take-out so...

While we may be idiots, at least we're not fat?

I kid, I kid. There was a legitimate plus-side to this video -- it looked like it took place in Second Life (DCist noticed that too), which reminded me of good ol' Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass.) and his foray into Second Life a couple of years ago. I really wish he'd have kept that creepy e-habit up.

Yep, those were the days...when we were fatter; when disabled grown-ups didn't have to be taught to give up their handicap-designated seats to other disabled grown-ups; and when Ed Markey lectured floating blue dragon furries about the environment...sigh...

7 comments:

M@ said...

That was a good report, Marissa. Thank you. As a journalist, I covered Rep. Markey a couple of times and I can totally see him doing something that flaky. :)

M@ said...

You get points for wearing loafers while cycling, rather than the professional-grade garb. You could be a college administrator circa 1974.

Daniel said...

I think WMATA is completely missing the larger problem about there being way too high of an "asshole : civil person" ratio in the District and it's surrounding, metro-linked burbs (and quite farther into Maryland for that matter). At least they're spending money on crappy YouTube videos and not on making the public transportation more efficient for the car-shunning public!

Alex Z said...

I see no problem with telling people not to be assholes on the train. Having lived in many cities with subways and recently moved here, I'm overjoyed that the powers that be tell people to act human.

And DC scores pretty high in terms of acting mature compared to other relevant American cities.

Bernadette said...

I read that article too. I also found it hilarious that while at an orientation in Baltimore today, the director choose to share with us that Charm City is #19 on the list. Something to be proud of? 19th...after DC? I'm not so sure.

Hill Rat said...

I just found your blog via #followfriday courtesy of @dcuniverse. Just thought you might like to know.

Peace,

HR

Marissa said...

m@--

Uh, that's not me in that photo, but Oregon Rep. Earl Blumenauer. We do share a similar aesthetic, however.

daniel--It's just sad that this isn't common sense. I mean, if an old man or woman comes in with a walker, any rational human being should know to give up your seat. It's just sad that we need to be told this. You'd think the suburbanites would know even better...

alex z--I see know problem with calling people out either...it's just that...well, it's pathetic that grown-ups need to be reminded of such things. In my Midwestern opinion...

bernadette--Oh, I love Baltimore...say hello to it for me. Even though you guys are apparently fat. :)

hillrat--What is #followfriday? It sounds like a cult. (I'm also Twitter remedial...) But I kind of like it if it led you to my blog. And DC Universe is AWESOME. Definitely one of my favorite blogs of all time.