Wednesday, May 12, 2010

the least worst

So, after thinking long and hard (hmm...) about ways to amp up the awesome over here at this here Web log, I've settled on simply adding a new feature called The Least Worst, in which I point out the least bad things to do, to see, to eat, to buy and, of course, to take a pee on. Which brings me to installment Number 1 (and I do mean that quite literally) -- the bathrooms at Proof.

Holy, um, sh*t? Proof's bathrooms are pee-lightful. Despite being a sloshy wine bar, the toilet seats are clean and the flush is powerful. Indeed, the urination experience is both sanitary and satisfying.

But that's not all! (Although, thankfully, that's all I'll talk about bodily functions.) Once you leave the stall for your ritual seven OCD hand-washes, you will be pleased to find a modern sink with a fine, pressurized spot, a pile of lush paper towels and a well-lit decor that doesn't involve flourecent bulbs that don't make you look like a dead zombie from hell, or even a regular, undead zombie from Hollywood.

Yes, believe it or not, The Night of the Living Dead was filmed entirely without make-up or special effects in the bathrooms at The Big Hunt (ew). Had it been filmed in Proof's bathroom, the cast would've looked like this:

That's right. Proof's bathroom is so f*cking tight that the mirrors will make all women look like Janet Leigh and all men like Vladimir Putin.

Or yeah. Maybe that's just what one perceives after eating delicious duck confit and imbibing a refreshing glass of wine for $12 during their lunch special. Whatever. Proof is one of the least worst in DC and that, e-friends, garners them The Anti DC Official Least Worst Award -- The Blithering Eagle of Freedom!

Congratulations, Proof!


Anonymous said...

Some people resist change. I for one welcome this promising new feature!

Fun (weird) fact: many DC men's rooms at bars feature a urinal and sit down toilet...with no division! Sometimes there's no lock either!!! It makes me wonder if DC is actually the city of brotherly love.

Oh, and the men's room at Belga Cafe has a regular sit down toilet...with a regular chair next to it!!! In case you need moral support?

Keep up the deep investigative work,

-Anonymous Brian

James said...

That's good and all, yo, but you've got to get a load of the mens room. Now that's worth a weekly series....