But we have a Target! And a Best Buy! It's practically the goddamn suburbs, no?! At least that's how I feel.
Some DC cab drivers, though, apparently feel differently. I learned that on Friday night when I tried to get a cab back to Columbia Heights from around Metro Center.
"Hi! I'm going to Columbia Heights."
"I won't go there."
"I won't go to Columbia Heights."
"What? Is it too 'ghetto' for you?" (Clearly, I said that with much sarcasm because WE HAVE A TARGET!)
"What?! Are you serious? WE HAVE A TARGET!"
"Yes. I know."
And then he drove away.
Um. That's weird, right? But I'll be honest, for reasons I won't delve into, I don't remember if that's exactly how my exchange with this overcautious cabbie went down. However, I distinctly remember calling his reasoning ludicrous based solely on the fact that, to him, a neighborhood with a Target in it could still be considered too dangerous to drive into. I still stand behind my argument. WE HAVE AN EFFING TARGET!
And not only do I stand behind my own argument (that should be obvious), but so did the second cab driver who found my retelling of this conversation with the first cabbie ridiculously funny.
"Well, thanks for bringing me to Columbia Heights. Apparently, it's a pretty rough neighborhood. Some cab driver just refused to take me!"
"But there's a Target there!"
"And a Best Buy!"
"I know! You're reading my mind!"
Then much laughter ensued.
Although, I'll be honest again. I don't know if everyone in the cab was laughing or if it was just me snickering away in the backseat like an insane asshole. That's really not out of the realm of possibility. Neither is me getting home, almost setting some microwave popcorn on fire and falling asleep upright in a chair. But, you know, that's just how we roll in the ghetto. Deal with it.