Tuesday, July 1, 2008

um...ew...LOL...wait...oh.

"A Metro station manager and a Metro custodian were arrested on prostitution charges after an undercover transit police investigation found they arranged sexual trysts for money from inside the Dupont Circle Metro station."

Uh...

"At one point the employees used the Metro loudspeaker system to facilitate an illicit sexual arrangement, according to police who arrested the pair last week."

Um...

"Sharon Waters, a Red Line station manager, told an undercover police officer at the Dupont Circle station June 4 that she could arrange meetings with local prostitutes for him, according to court documents. ... The officer returned to the station at 11:45 p.m. June 11 and met with Waters, who told him she was organizing a 'sex' party in the Washington area for a $100 cover charge, court records show. ... Waters said she also could arrange for another, unidentified Metro station manager to meet the officer for sex, but that she couldn't find her at that time, according to the affidavit. "

Ew...

"Waters then used the Metro loudspeaker system to page Pam Goins, a Metro custodian who Waters said would be interested, and the officer and Waters went to the Farragut North Metro station to meet her, according to the documents."

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh, people are idiots. And this story is so idiotic that I'm not even sure how I should go about mocking this. I mean, Sharon and Pam do a pretty good job on their own with their sordid tale of prostitute custodians, cop crotch-grabbing, threesomes, Brazilian sex trips, stolen panties and several other shambley misadventures.

I'm kind of amazed at how this type of business starts. OK, I'm not amazed at how regular prostitution rings start (that's kind of obvious *wink!*). What I'm confused about, however, is how prosititution rings start in places like...um...the effing metro! Seriously, save for Congress, there is nary an unsexier place I can think of that exists in this city than the barfy-colored metro with its incredibly unflattering lighting. Even the crosstown bus is sexier with its fancy fabric-covered seats. So plush. But the metro, seriously? It smells weird. But I get the feeling that Sharon and Pam might smell weird too. Different strokes smells for different folks nasty freaks, perhaps?

Well, whatever, I guess I won't judge too harshly. After all this city is pretty pricey and rents can get high, so when I found out Sharon only made $56,647 in 2006, I began to underst...wait...hold up a minute...wow. Yeah, that certainly does say $56,647, which is definitely more money than I or most other writers probably make in this squat-toilet of a "city." Seriously, if anyone has the right to start a goddamn ring of hookers, I believe it's me -- the destitute journalist. I gotta make my ends meet somehow and if it means pimping, then it f*cking means pimping!

But now there's the question of from where to run my strumpet circle. Hmm...

[10 minutes later]

Yeah...I still don't know. I guess I'm partial to the old-school variety of good ol' fashioned street-walking. Ahh, that's good times.

---

Read the full article via The Examiner and thanks to "A" for bringing this retardulous matter to my attention.

And lastly, welcome new pervy Googlers!

4 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm just impressed they were able to use the loudspeaker system...it's completely unintelligible most of hte time.

"Meet your garble-garble at garble-garble for some garble-garble."

Adam said...

This is a fantastic post. I'm sure you've seen the staff at most of the metro stops, not really who I'd like to join at a $100 sex party anyway.

LivitLuvit said...

Holla Shannon. One of my favorite things to do (and a little sweet sweet revenge during tourist season) is watch all of them as the train approaches a stop and the conductor mumbles something that Beaker the Muppet couldn't hope to understand... all the tourists start freaking out, "Is this it? Is this the stop?" Fumble with map, frantically elbow people stupid enough to sit in front of the posted map on the wall... And then they inevitably miss it anyway. Bwa hahaha.

Marissa said...

shannon--

Good point.

adam--

I wasn't going to go there, but you did. Yes, also good point.

livitluvit--

I am lucky enough not to have to deal with all of that. I was downtown this morning and have a new appreciation for people that work around Metro Center...totally gnarly.