Thursday, May 29, 2008

google time filler post heyyy!

I think it’s safe to say that after the wheel, fire, the written language, the bicycle, the airplane, the burrito, spandex-infused denim, face control, dice games, the Kir Royale, the La-Z-Boy chair, the sweatervest and the word “tight,” the single most important invention in the history of ever is the Google machine.

Google really is the nautical telescope of the 21st century. However, instead of allowing you to tell land from an off-shore casino or whatever else might be floating around in the great blue yonder (humpback whales?), Google allows you to find much more useful and enlightening items like Transformer shoes, bedside gun racks, "Ken Lee" and, of course, this little blog.

And while I’d love for you to believe it’s phrases like “best blog ever,” “Marissa f*cking rules” or “The Anti DC is a daily must-read and Marissa should totally get a writing job at The New Yorker” that are the most commonly Googled words lucky e-passersby use to reach this here Web log, unfortunately -- I’m sure to your great surprise -- they’re not.

Nope. The selection of Googled phrases that have led several fortunate souls to The Anti DC are much less flattering than that. But they’re also much more entertaining! For instance, in the past week alone, phrases containing the word “hooker” seemed to have increased tenfold. Yowza!

But hookers aside, there are several other bizarre, but lovely phrases that have led random Googlers to ma'blog including (and I've linked each search phrase to the post it led to): However, the most retardulous of Googled phrases that landed some perv on this blog is -- brace yourselves -- barbeque douching.

I don't even want to know.

But regardless of the reason anyone finds him- or herself here, I want to extend my e-arms out in a warm e-hug and say, "You're welcome." And I love you. And nice ass. Yeah.

UPDATE: OK, now someone is toying with my tiny mind: "looking for a pair of skants." I do not, nay, I cannot believe someone is actually looking for a pair of skants. Touché, sir or madam, touché.

8 comments:

The Vinyl District said...

Oh, I like this game...a sampling of TVD's keywords:

french whore named babette (zing!)
hardhose mp3 vinyl blog
"good girl/carrots"
bored
sex tvd

...sense a pattern of sorts?

DC Goodwill Fashionista said...

"Give it up for Feathers...
...oooooh Cadillac...
...and Tooooom Cruuuuuise..."

-the DCGF (heyyy)

Marissa said...

tvd-

I am happy the artist formerly known as Babette the French Whore could oblige.

goodwill fashionista-

HEYYY! YES! Possibly one of the catchiest theme songs ever!

Shannon said...

I'm the Internet destination for Nissan Pavilion clusterfuck, how to love an insecure man, and sexy stewardesses.

Yep, that's my internet legacy.

The Vinyl District said...

This needs to be a monthly feature....

I-66 said...

Signs someone is a narcissistic jackass:

1. Is named Goose.

2. Has blog.

whatlizsaid.com said...

My personal favorite from the What Liz Said vault is "tingly sensation on your head".

Righteous (re)Style said...

Ha. I get nothing that exciting. Maybe that means my blog is boring . . . sigh. Actually, most of the keywords that lead people to my blog are pretty much what I write about . . . which, I guess is good. Seriously, this is the most interesting keyword search that I have gotten.

"i want to move someplace where the people are pretty and nice"

(don't we all . . .)