the key to suck-cess

A friend of mine came to town last weekend and surprised me. And not only because I found out he rides griffins in his spare time while playing World of Warcraft. (You're the man now, dog, Buckrod!) No. He surprised me because right before he left on Monday, after our $12 wine lunch at Proof and subsequent daytime drinking binge at Washington D.C.'s greatest dive bar, Harry's, he said, "I actually had fun in DC this time."

Dumbfounded, I comically stammered, "Wha-wha-wha-what?!"

I think it's because we didn't go to any bars at night and instead did our drinking on other people's decks."

It's true. DC can be fun, just as long as you make sure you're not out in public during the douching hour, which is that time of night when the douches come flying out by the pleats of their pants and party like it's 1999...in hell. Or talk about their madras. Jesus.

On a griffin.

But seriously, DC after dark can really blow, as I suppose it can during daylight hours, too, if you're not sucking up $10 pitchers at Harry's. But there's one thing for certain: When you shun strangers and instead stick with your insular little clan of like-minded Buckrods (minus the e-griffins), who will drink an entire box of wine then get on Chatroulette with you (we only saw one peen!), you can have a good time anywhere. Even in DC.

*sigh*

However, f*ck that noise now because I'm leaving DC.

Well, for the weekend...

That's right, I'm going to New York City to celebrate the fact that do NOT have a brain tumor! Yet. That is, my prolactin tests came back normal! Which is strange, because the fact that I'm even blogging about my prolactin levels is highly abnormal. And also incredibly awkward. However, not as awkward as this video will make you feel.



E-see you Monday! Jiz.