Friday, May 23, 2008

peanut butter jelly time

There is some bizarre sh*t going down on the streets of DC. Although if you think about it, that's not really anything new. I mean, last fall was the season of the wayward Band-Aids (gnarly, I know), which I thought for sure would be the strangest collection of street debris I'd see. However, today on my walk home from the office I noticed something else, something even more inexplicable -- a string of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I was literally following a bread-crumb trail home, as I walked over, around and, unfortunately in one case, on five PB&J on white bread sandwiches. I spotted the first one on Connecticut Ave. toward Van Ness, the second on Connecticut near Cleveland Park, two more on Klingle passing over Rock Creek Park and at last (at least that I saw) one on Park Road heading into Mt. Pleasant.

While squished sandwiches are definitely a step up from used bandages (yeah, it never stops being gnarly), it strikes me as slightly more strange. I mean, who would discard so many simple yet tasty sandwiches? Certainly, this couldn't have been an accident. No one is that careless to drop not one, but five scrumptious sandwiches. So, what is it? What kind of beast would just throw five sandwiches out on the street, well, Band-Aids?!

Terrorists. They hate freedom and delicious sandwiches. Really, it's the only logical conclusion.

Yeah, I got nothin'! Have a lovely weekend, e-friends. I'm going to make a sandwich.


Anonymous said...

Wow. I think the weirdest thing I've ever seen was a big pile of old top hats. By the fountain. In Dupont Circle. For no reason. They got removed, and the next day I went there, there was one top hat remaining with a note on it that said "YOU TOOK MY FRIENDS AWAY!"

I-66 said...

Why I happen to have buttermilk bread, Jif creamy peanut butter, and Welch's grape on hand. Whatever shall I do with this combination of items?

It's peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!