Tuesday, January 13, 2009

i can't believe i ever had writer's block...



Who thinks of these things? I mean, honestly, that video is supposed to grab the attention of constituents or whoever and make them interested in what goes on in Congress?

Wow. I can't believe I was ever struggling for material. Between this and my blog-induced firing, this sh*t is writing itself. I mean, goddamit, Pelosi, your Botox-robot-face is hard enough to look at 12 feet away on a television screen. Now you expect me to watch it 12 inches away from my retinas on the Interweb? Really?!

And Reid, honestly, your staged hand movements are the the Pelosi-Botox-robot-face of gesticulations. Perhaps if most members of Congress didn't come across as shoddily animated cardboard cutouts, this would be slightly more bearable.

And really, McConnell, are you even alive?

The only thing that (mildly) piqued my interest in this video was Boehner's Mystic Tan and his mentioning that, "Some of us have been posting original video content there for years now." Midget porn, perchance? OF COURSE NOT! By "original content," he really means "lifted clips from CSPAN2." Thrilling.

Yeah, I'll be sure to tune in. (Actually, I just might. Like I said, this writes itself.) Not to mention the sweet soundtrack. I wonder which lucky intern got to compose that on Mac GarageBand? Or did they just lift it from the background of Brenda Dickson's "Welcome to My Home." (For the highlights of this 1987 classic, fast forward to 2:00 and enjoy.) Ostrich feathers, anyone?

Have fun working, e-friends. I'm going ice-skating!

6 comments:

BAD said...

I like how the Republicanum says his name is Baner when it is actually Boner. Does he think the YouTube can't READ?

LiLu said...

I guess I'm just as dorky as you... because ice skating sounds AWESOME right now.

Adam said...

Reid's got the jazz hands! Give that man some puppets to play with or something.

Aren't these people who like, publicly speak for a living?

Glad to have you back from vacation.

Boomhauer said...

Having left politics for Law Enforcement, the only political video on YouTube video on politics I would watch now would be Nancy Pelosi being gangbanged by John "Marlboro Man" Boehner. David "Diaperboy" Vitter and DC Zoo's own Butterstick.

Marissa said...

bad--

I know! I will pronounce his name as "Boner" until the day I die. Or forget. Or simply don't care.

lilu--

Unfortunately, I didn't end up ice-skating yesterday...making headway into getting paid for my essay skillz, instead. Ice-skating is on the agenda though. Unemployment is sweet!

adam-

LOL @ Reid's jazz hands. Now if only he would give us a little shimmy. Or not.

boomhauer--

"Butterstick?" I'm intrigued. That might be the best nickname ever.

Boomhauer said...

DC dorks know the panda cub as Butterstick. Speaker Pelosi, however knows him by another moniker: Spacklecannon