Wednesday, January 21, 2009

dc is nothing like new york

Since joining Twitter two days ago, I've learned several interesting facts. Mostly about MC Hammer, who I'm following, and CNN's Rick Sanchez, who is FOLLOWING ME! But aside from learning Hammer spent the night at the Mid-Atlantic Ball and Sanchez was taking a short respite from broadcasting, I've also engaged in some interesting (albeit truncated) conversations on there:

@theantidc Apparently DC is the new NY. Can you vouch for this?

@fakebook The only thing 'New York' about DC right now is the fact that bars suddenly think a $15-$20 cover is OK.

Which brings me to today's point of contention with this city -- bar covers without the promise of a rock band or a sweet DJ are not OK. In fact, a $15-$20 cover to get into a bar ANYWHERE without the promise of decent entertainment is not OK. I wouldn't pay that to get into a sh*tty bar in New York City and, for the love of my quickly slimming wallet, I wouldn't pay that in DC for any bar (most of which are sh*tty). If DC had forgotten, allow me to remind it: Nightlife here sucks. Hard.

And while I'm at it, taking a cue from one of the greatest philosopher's of our time, Aqua Teen Hunger Force's Meatwad, whoever DJ'd at Local 16 last night needs "to check himself lest he wreck himself." Not only did he fail to play Three 6 Mafia's "Stay Fly" when I requested it last night, but he tried to reason with me about how playing it at the moment of request would "mess up the flow."

"Balderdash!" I responded, noting that any "flow" that begins and ends with House of Pain could only be helped by these Oscar-winning artists. "Indubitably!" I added for effect.

Then he looked at me like I was a retarded kid on the long bus as if to say, "Why are you here?" (This happens to me a lot). So, I bid him adieu with a "Tootles," adjusted my monocle and spats, and walked away defeated in my efforts to control someone else's playlist, despite the clear need for my self-centered help in this situation.

And speaking of needing help and DJing (although hopefully not a DJ who needs help), I would appreciate a little e-spreading of the news that I will be DJing a short set at Solly's next Monday starting at 10 p.m. It will be the most aurally exhilarating 30 minutes of your life. Or, at least not a 30 minutes during which you'll keep praying that I'll play something else. Hopefully. And, guess what?! It's completely free!

4 comments:

LiLu said...

Twitter is like crack. Although, I definitely appreciated knowing that you were watching Days of Our Lives yesterday. How'd you like hearing about my gassy lunch?

Technology is great.

Marissa said...

Twas wishful thinking re: Days of Our Lives. It was inaug all day. But I did catch Days today...and it's gotten incredibly boring in the last 10 years. I'm a bit sad about this.

Anonymous said...

How could you say Days is boring?? You got me hooked on it! Athough I did hear that "John & Marlena" will be leaving. Hurray! M.

maryjanejeff said...

Where is Solly's? Sorry, I have no life and have no idea where it is. $15 cover charge? Are they out of their fucking mind? Or are people who pay it out of their fucking minds? If I'm paying $15 to get in the door anywhere, the entertainment better be a quality concert, an entertaining sporting event, or a funny ass comic. But just to get into some random fucking shit bar? Seriously, I could do lots of stuff with that money. Drink beer elsewhere, buy more running socks, buy another pair of flat fronted pants on clearance, grab a decent dinner somewhere, drink more beer.