I've never *not* been in love with freedom. In fact, as I sit here on the back deck, my pants 100 percent not on, with the e-world at my fingertips, it feels so natural to lean back in this reclining lawn chair, which was made in China, and simply bask in it. Goddamn, this is a great country.
And if a person can fall in love with freedom just because he or she can engage in a little indecent exposure while spending hours searching the Web to find things like a soundboard dedicated to the best worst movie of all time, The Room, imagine how someone could feel about it when you add a pinch of team sports, a couple of vuvuzelas and a whole lot of making fun of England. Not only do I love freedom then, but I kind of want to give it a rape whistle because, oh my, it's so alluring that I almost want to touch it in its special place.
Did you notice the middle finger displayed just southwest of Old Glory? I'm pretty sure that finger's directed at David Beckham, whose larger-than-life face periodically graced the screens of Soccer in the Circle on Saturday afternoon to show his nonplussed expressions. And while (surprisingly) I didn't *act* like much of an asshole (my middle fingers were too busy helping me grasp onto whatever makeshift hand-fans I could find), I was (unsurprisingly) dressed like one.
Yet, so was everyone else and, really, I'm glad we all did because when England fumbled and we scored to tie, it made this moment all the more sweet.
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
O! What an amazing moment in DC history! Everyone came together to celebrate a common goal (literally), with nary an obnoxious idiot who sought to ruin everyone's time by climbing up a tree to enhance his own view while blocking those of the hundreds of people behind him in site.
Or maybe that did happen. But you know what else happened? Some freaking mob justice, that's what! And if there's one thing DC does well (that is, besides producing the type of person who would sacrifice the fun of all for the benefit of one), it's mob justice. And the evidence in this aptly titled "dicktree.com" incident is no exception. So, without further ado, mob, I present to you the highly uncoveted Anti DC Bald Eagle of Freedom award!
Congratulations, mob. You've earned it.
Also, in case you missed it (because you started waving your flag a early in the morning on Saturday), I did a rare weekend post, in which I (shoddily) recapped the events of the World Cup Opening Party at the South African Embassy on Friday morning. You can witness the shambles by clicking here.