Friday, July 9, 2010

lebron who? we have john wall...


Disregarding the illiterate who spelled "indulging" with an "e," (perhaps it was the same illiterate who vandalized this LeBron poster in Cleveland?), that video was pretty awesome. I'm doing the "Double Wall" right now, as my helper horse Sven (when Charles Town went to sh*t he came back!) is hoofing away at the keyboard.

So yeah, sports and sh*t.

Besides the Olympics and the occasional tennis match, I never watched or, more importantly, cared about sports until I moved to DC. While I'd love to say I became a fan because our teams are just so good you're forced to love them, we all know that's a bold-faced lie. *ahem* Redskins... *ahem*

For the most part, here in DC we cheer for losers. Save for players like the Wizards' Wall, new Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg, and the Capitals' resident toothless Russian Sasha Alex Ovechkin, we got nothin'. Our local teams are like dogs who swallow the country's diamond rings. The result isn't that great. I mean, a sparkly dog turd is better than a dull one, but it's still a turd. (The Caps, so far, are the only team to even come close to turning turds into trophies.)

But I think we like it that way. We bond over having our hopes crushed. We bond in our collective misery. We bond in our simultaneous screams of "F*************************CK!" Indeed, in those short, utterly disappointing and depressing moments, we come together as a city. We are one and we love it.

So, cheer up Cleveland and other Ohioans (?), Miami may have picked the diamond out of your turd making it worth a lot less, but I bet that turd still smells just the same. It's yours. Scoop it up together! ...Or, I guess, metaphorically burn it and leave it on Miami's front steps...


While I understand Cleveland's shock and awe -- their boyfriend just broke up with them and all -- I'm less understanding of the emotional and even irrational, Comic f*cking Sans-fonted reactions of not only LeBron's purported "fans," but his former boss.

Honestly, the Cavaliers franchise just gouted itself with that letter. And if the owners continue to react like Satan just killed their unicorn, they're basically letting every future star of LeBron's caliber know that THEY'RE F*CKING CRAZY. Really, it's no wonder LeBron left. Would you want to work for Dan "Crazy Font" Gilbert?

Look, as a person who's interested in the game of basketball because it gives me another opportunity to move my wrist back and forth to a beat (I say "another" because that's also how I hail a cab), perhaps it's easier for me to take a rational stance. I see it this way: Professional basketball is a game. LeBron wants to win. By joining forces with his friends on the Heat, he just increased his chances. It's not about betrayal. It's not about abandonment. Hell, I don't think it's even about the money or fame. LeBron simply wants to win. That's not narcissistic, that's not an ego out of control -- that's just one really talented guy who thinks he has a better chance to reach his full potential somewhere else.

If anything, leaving Cleveland is the most un-narcissistic thing LeBron could've done. I mean, it must be nice being treated like a god everywhere you go, right? Instead, by leaving he's basically saying he's not good enough to win carrying a team on his own. He's saying he's not a god. He's saying he needs help, and it just so happens the players he believes can help him live in Florida. Judging from his answers to tough questions and the clear emotion in his eyes last night after he made his announcement public, LeBron is not a stupid guy. He knew this decision would incite an instant backlash that would result in a supersonic fall from grace. He knew he would lose his most rampant fan base. Yet he gave all that glory up for the purity of his game.

Now if that's a selfish move, then all of us who have ever left a situation in which we thought we weren't able to reach our full potential, are just as selfish. So, before you hate on LeBron, look in the mirror.

Wait, what's that? Haters gonna hate?

Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Carry on with your hatred if you must. But I'm moving on to other overblown news, mainly this announcement: The Anti DC now has a Facebook page! And like I noted this morning in a status update, "It's not named LeBron, so it's okay to 'like' it." Have a good weekend. Catch your faces on the 'book!


Patty Duke said...

Speaking of the Skins, I just pretend that it's still the 80,s and early 90's when they were good and won Superbowls. Glory Days. (Bruce Springstein?)

Hail to the Redskins!

FoggyDew said...

Or, LeBron could have finally woken up and realized he'd lived in Cleveland all his life. Lived in a city mainly famous for lighting it's rivers on fire.

When he woke up Thursday he didn't decide "I'm going to Miami because I'll have a good chance to win." The thought that struck like a lightning bolt was "Holy Shit! I've lived in Cleveland for 25 and a half years!! I gotta go!"

Marissa said...


Yeah, I've been roped into becoming a Redskins fan this year. I'm scared. I hate disappointment...


Ha! Definitely could've been that. Although lighting sh*t on fire would actually be a reason to stick around in my mind...