Friday, October 17, 2008

so it's come to this...

I'm about to give you (and me) the creeps, and all because I lack 20/20 vision. Boom!


Damn...sometimes I really do scare myself. And by "sometimes," I mean on a daily basis, specifically every time I conjure up a bit of nonsense to fill the endless space on this inexhaustible goblet of a Web log.

But scaring myself and others aside, I'm trying to relay to you here that I bought new spectacles a couple of weeks ago. Groundbreaking blog material, indeed! And lest I leave you wanting more, let me expound on this topic until there's nothing left to post but a picture of my bespectacled self thinking about playing craps with Putin! So without further ado about nothing, allow me to present to you a little essay I so originally entitled "Marissa blogs about her new glasses."

I really like my new spectacles, which is probably why I've been wearing them more often than my contacts. However, there are several other reasons for sporting this new near-daily facial accessory:

1) I'm lazy. Glasses are so much easier to shove on your face than contacts are to shove in your eyes;

2) This is probably the first pair of glasses not of the sun variety that I (possibly mistakenly) don't think make me look like Grade A asshole (maybe Grade B);

3) I really enjoy whipping them on and off CSI: Miami style (a la David Caruso) during random conversations with my boss; and

4) I paid an embarrassing amount of money for them, hence I feel the pressing need to actually wear them.

(Still reading? I love you...)

Anyway, I bought these bad boys at Georgetown Opticians in Dupont Circle. I have no idea what brand they are, as I didn't think to ask at the time of purchase and because the only marking these spectacles have on them is "Handmade Frame AV-8." And while that may seem extremely retarded (and it is), I attribute my brand ignorance to the friendly and helpful staff at GO. See (LOL!), I came in with a certain idea in mind: I wanted a big ol' pair of geek glasses -- the kind that graced the Fall '08 runway shows. However, upon learning of my almost-blindness (OD: -6.00; OS: -3.00 + astigmatism), the shopkeeper told me it'd be damn near impossible to fit my genuine nerd prescription lenses into faux-nerd frames (something about the concavity of the lens or whatever...science).

And so, dismayed and wayward, I had no idea what to do. After all, I had already invented outfits to work around the massive geek glasses I thought I was going to purchase. And so I let the shopkeeper pick out what he thought worked best considering my unfortunate lack of sight as well as my rather intriguing (or hideous) taste level and we settled on the above. I like to call it the Sleek Geek. I can live with it...


And yes, as promised, that is, indeed, a thought bubble gingerly perched above my head filled with a doctored shot of Putin (with Flock of Seagulls hair, natch) playing craps. A girl can dream...

9 comments:

Arjewtino said...

Those look great, Marissa.

But, then again, I'm a big glasses kind of guy. Despite what Dorothy Parker warned you girls about.

De in D.C. said...

I like. I had a very similar pair I used to wear until I got lasik last summer.

I-66 said...

Now you can at least plead to Striker that he wouldn't hit a girl with glasses.

Jack said...

You look hot.

J

http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/

JON said...

First thing I said upon actually meeting Anti M: "Cool glasses".

Marissa said...

Damn, e-friends! You all are too kind. I was expecting to see something along the lines of, "No. You still look like a Grade A asshole, asshole."

Now I'm just e-blushing. Aw shucks...

elle said...

Oh, I bet those are Masunaga. Same designer as Sarah Palin's.

Sorry, is that raining on your parade?

Peter said...

The nice thing about the glasses is that they are versatile. You can put your hair in a bun and go for "sexy librarian" or you can use them to focus the sun's rays onto ants and burn them to death!

Marissa said...

elle--

I'm wearing my contacts today.

peter--

Either/or.