And what an opportune time for the Kremlin to set up a Twitter account -- the day before President Obama continued the tradition of bringing important heads of state to fastfood restaurants. Indeed, following his attempt to further ruin French-American relations by bringing President Sarkozy to that slop house known as Ben's Chili Bowl in March, yesterday Obama brought Russian President
Seriously, what is Obama trying to prove with this habit? Sure, the burgers at Ray's might be what we can scientifically categorize as "f*cking delicious," but still! Ray's wouldn't be my first choice of place to bring a Russian head of state to. I mean, it's a HAMBURGER. And furthermore, I DON'T SEE ANY DILL OR MAYONNAISE ON THAT F*CKING TABLE!
Not to mention, Barack, but didn't your wife declare war on childhood obesity not long ago?
I say take Medvedev to Sweetgreen! They totes have a really good hun-cal fro-yo there and, dammit, EVERY GUY SHOULD HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OF IT!
Then again, Medvedev, whose lifeblood depends on the consumption of cured fat and sour cream, probably considered the burger a healthy change of pace...
Meh, whatever. Healthy role models are for pansies anyway. (I, for one, look up to Lindsay Lohan's liver.)
Health-shmealth aside, though, what really bugs me about this jaunt out to Ray's is that it's located in Virginia. Honestly, that truly gets my goat. (Seriously, my pet goat is super pissed over here.)
Or hell, I have a grill! Call me up next time, Barry! I have enough mayonnaise in my fridge to keep even the most Yakov Smirnoff-iest of Russians happy. I'll even get commie with it and throw in some extra dill for free. I look forward to hearing from you, comrade.
*Why are references to dill and mayonnaise funny? Because Russians love dill and mayonnaise. I've seen them use both to top a pizza and fill a sushi roll. Indeed, my ancestors were a sick people.
[Photo credits: The Kremlin]