Thursday, March 13, 2008

are you not entertained?!

The word "hooker" is no stranger to this blog. In fact, a cursory glance at some of my past entries reveals that I've dropped the H-bomb on at least half-a-dozen occasions. So, when I didn't immediately blog about the Elliot Spitzer debacle, some one of you began to question my adherence to what apparently is one of the ongoing leit motifs, if you will, of The Anti DC -- strumpets.

So here I am, forced by the masses my friend Tom to give you my opinion on Spitzer's downfall. I could write something about him being a hypocrite of epic proportions; I could write about how he alienated his friends and family; I could write about his poor wife who has chosen to stand idiotically by his side instead of filing for divorce, kicking him out of their deluxe apartment in the sky and fleecing him for all he's worth; or I could even write about the fact that the infamous night in question went down in DC's most hooker-friendly hotel, the historic Mayflower. But all of that doesn't really interest me.

What I find most interesting about this whole Spitzer affair is the fact that he dropped thousands of dollars on this woman, Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Now, I'm not sexually attracted to women, so maybe I'm simply not seeing something that straight men and lesbians see, but, um, if I was to pay $4,300 for a prostitute, let's just say I'd expect the girl to look a little less Jersey and a little more Manhattan (um, no offense?).

However, like I said, I'm not a straight man or a lesbian and I'm certainly no Elliot Spitzer (I don't look nearly enough like the human version of Grover to relate), so maybe my man-loving eye is missing the thousand-dollar appeal here.

H is for Hooker!

But aside from Client No. 9's bridge'n'tunnel tastes, I admit the only other aspect of this whole situation that I feel necessary to comment on is the fact that Spitzer's replacement, Lt. Gov. David Paterson, is legally blind, which means the looks of his thousand-dollar hookers will really be something to talk about. (Oh no she didn't! Oh yes I did!)

UPDATE: Wonkette scooped me, comparing Spitzer to a slightly different breed of puppet -- a muppet. Touche, Wonkette. Touche.


Bridal Bird said...

No you di'n't!
Oh wait. Yes, I see you've already indicated that you di'd.

I-66 said...

I have analyzed this situation up and down, in and out, and left and right.

I have determined that the hooker must have let him stick it in her butt.

A lot.

Not that that's any justification for the $4300 charge, but it's a lot closer than what I'd pay for plain 'ol missionary.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

lmao I just spit out my coffee at I-66's comment roflmao omg

John said...

you remember how the other day you were commenting on how many people find this blog by searching for dc hookers and the like?

might one of them have an ip traceable to albany? maybe if you had given the man the local information he needed, he wouldn't have had to call it in from nyc!

and then he could still be governor. or something.

Anonymous said...

I think her paid for $1000 for the sex and an additional $3300 for her not to sing the atrocious stuff from her MySpace page.

Marissa said...

bridal bird--

I did indeed, and I'd do it again.


Holy wow. I agree with Cap Hill. I nearly just choked on a granola bar. You've also cleared some things up for me.


Interesting theory. I hope to all in heaven that Spitzer reads this blog.


What?! You don't like mediocre R&B? Well, you better start. This hooker is so getting a multi-million record deal.