And when she wore them, they caused quite the stir amongst the townsfolk. The masses couldn't wrap their minds around how such lovely pants came to be! Most just watched in awe (or horror). Others decided to inquire about them with the pants' owner ("Are those leggings? What are those?!"). And some even tried to become one with the pants to understand them better.
"Um, can I help you?" asked the owner of the pants.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't meant to grab your ankle. I was just trying to touch
your pants," said the woman to her right.
"I just wanted to touch your pants."
Creepy? Yes. Understandable? Also yes. I mean, they are pretty sharp pants, after all. However, unlike the above-quoted creeper, not everyone appreciated this girl's lower half. In fact, some attempted to sass her and her lovely pants.
"Excuse me, I didn't mean to trip over you or your New York-style pants," snapped the boy in the Bad Brains T-shirt.
"Actually, I bought these in DC, believe it or not," said the girl.
"Yeah, but they're fancy New York-style pants. Not the kind of
pants we see around here."
"Well, son, consider this a gift then."
But he didn't. He continued to go about his business in his dull-colored, baggy-ankled, droopy khakis. So did the rest of the crowd. And then the girl left the frat party...in Virginia. The End.
This story was based on true events. During the course of one night at a house-party featuring the sophisticated activities of Beer Pong, Quarters and something called "Spin the Fan," my pants got singled out for comment three times, felt-up once and outright sassed once. To make the story even more absurd, I will reveal that the pants in question (pictured above) were nothing but totally un-exotic. I purchased them at Urban Outfitters in Georgetown not more than three weeks ago. (Can you even get more un-"New York" than that?) Oh Virginia, open your minds to my pants! What did my pants ever do to you? I mean, besides being so deadly awesome that they quite possible gave you an arrythmia. But other than that, what? WHAT?!