Friday, March 28, 2008

the feds hate love

Whenever I'm pressed for blog topics or just feeling a little uninspired from the normal hullaballoo that I come across each day, I turn to the Department of Homeland Security to mock. Really, you can't go wrong, especially when you narrow it down to its Customs and Border Protection unit. CBP's press releases are pure gold, if by "gold," of course, I actually mean "retarded," which you know I do.

Take for instance a press release from last week entitled, Philadelphia CBP Officers Seize 42 Bottles of 'Love Potion.' It's already hard not to LOL, if you will, at the title alone. But then...but then you read the text, which contains this gem of wisdom:

"It is illegal to bring unknown drugs into the country and this purported 'Love
Potion' is inadmissible," said Edward Moriarty, CBP Assistant Port Director for
Passenger Operations in Philadelphia. "I suppose this couple may have to find
another way to ignite their passion for each other."

This Moriarty fellow is one sassy bitch!

By the way, here's a photo of the heroin Love Potion. It's pretty sexy. I just wish instead of a dollar bill, they used a condom package as a means of size comparison. That'd have been funnier. Whoa. Is there a hidden pun there? I think so!

But it's under 4 ounces and in a ziploc bag!


I-66 said...

Somewhere The Searchers are verrrrry angry. Especially if those little bottles have "9" written on the side.

The Vinyl District said...

Damn. There goes my weekend.