get off the internet thursday: inauguratory edition

The world's greatest mega-mustachioed aphorist, Friedrich Nietzsche, once taught me, "Out of chaos comes order." And so, with that in mind, I present to you what I hope will become a regular feature: Get Off the Internet Thursday.

In this feature, The Anti DC will set aside its patented polemical essays in favor of making actual, possibly useful (*gasp!*) suggestions for you and yours to make life easier here in hell, er, DC. That is, instead of just complaining, albeit creatively, about sh*tty clubs or the prevalence of loose fitting pants in this town, this lil' blog will attempt to provide some solutions by suggesting a few spots and activities to check out that don't suck a lot of ass (you know I've gotta keep in eloquent here).

Anyway, while I understand my suggestions may get tiresome since I only have about five at the moment, I hope to jump on the proverbial blogwagon and invite others to provide a few suggestions of their own. That means, if you feel you've got the chops keyboard to type a few hilariously entertaining suggestions for public consumption, drop me an e-line and let's get this party guest blog feature started right.

But, because I didn't plan this new, super-tight feature until, um, right now, in place of someone else's insight, I'll just rehash for you my own. And so, without further explanation, I present to you the very first Get Off the Internet Thursday: The Anti DC Edition. (Bask in the history that's being made right effing now, my e-friends. Bask.)

Well, hello! It's Marissa here of The Anti DC (wow, this isn't lame at all). We all know DC is my own personal hell, but once in a tapered pant, I find something that I not only tolerate, but actually like. So, get off the goddamn interweb (after, of course, you read through all my archives and forward them to everyone you know) and check out some of these most un-DC of DC haunts that I've come to regard as my totes faves.

1. Saint-Ex. This is probably my favorite bar in DC, despite that I've been here maybe just four times or so. And yes, it's starting to attract a greater contingent of douchebags and tools on the weekends (as is everything on U Street), but this place still has a ton to offer, not least of which are their martinis. I swear they somehow manage to pack extra liquor in them. Bizarre. But in all honesty, the "scene," if I may, is laid-back, but not in that annoying Irish-pub way. It's a chillax bar with well-priced cocktails (or beer) and boasts a crowd that (mostly) won't hit on you by bragging about how they can get you free drinks at the "hottest club in Bethesda." Oh, and there's also dancing in the basement. I love dancing.

2. Electroganic. Keeping with the dance theme, a DJ friend of mine recently invited me to attend what is going to be a regular event in The District -- Electroganic. According to one of the organizers and DJs, v:shal kanwar, these events will be held every month or so at Bohemian Caverns (also near U Street) and other larger yet-to-be-named venues. At the first and most recent Electroganic party, they imported DJs and gathered some of the best local talent to spin actual electronic music. That is, some dumb bitch didn't just plug his iPod into the soundsystem and set his Prodigy collection to shuffle. Nope, these were legit DJs who not only cared about making sure the crowd (which was also cool) kept dancing but actually succeeded at it. In short, I almost felt like I was back in Moscow again, which for the purposes of a dance party, is a very, very good thing. The next one takes place on April 11, by the way (I'll share details as I get them). Be there or be a tool.

3. Mezè. OK, I understand (but will never really "get") that dancing isn't for everyone. But brunch is. And while there are a lot of crappy brunch spots in this town, Adams Morgan actually has a few decent options. I've singled out Rumba Cafe before for its awesomeness, but have yet to mention Mezè, which might actually be the best brunch I've had in this town. The service is quick, the food is delicious, the drinks are decent and the prices are right. (Dang, I'm hungry!) As an added bonus, this places serves Raki, an anise-based Turkish apératif that you mix with water (!). It tastes like black licorice. (Again, dang, I'm hungry!)

4. Muléh. After brunch, the only natural thing to do is spend more money. However, sometimes that's hard in DC since there's so much ugly sh*t displayed in store windows here. There is one store, however, that I gladly throw my money at -- Muléh. Not only have I gotten a pretty fantastic dress here for 75 percent off, but my friend, The Law, has snagged some nice swag here, as well, including a 3.1 Phillip Lim belt. Like Urban Outfitters, Muléh carries women's and men's apparel as well as furniture. But unlike Urban Outfitters, it's not located in Georgetown. (Phew!) Oh, um, and it's also about ten 100 times more expensive. OK, Muléh is truly only Get Off the Internet-worthy during a sale.

5. Bull Run Shooting Center. It may not be in the District, but this Virginian treasure deserves a place in my Top 5. Why? Because you get to shoot guns! Duh.

All right, who's up next??? Let me know! (PS -- Non-bloggers welcome. I'm e-looking at you, The Law.)