The value of Ann Taylor stocks is dropping quicker than Elliot Spitzer's pants at the Mayflower (wah, waaaah!).
According to a Bloomberg article, the company, "geared toward [dishabille] women 25 (LOL!) to 55," experienced a net loss of $6.67 million or 11 cents a share in its fourth-quarter after announcing 13 percent of head-office positions would be cut and 117 stores would close (hallelujah!).
"AnnTaylor is in the most competitive sector of retail,'' David Abella, some rich investor betting on your bad taste, told Bloomberg. He added, it "also happens to be the weakest.'' This rich bitch then proceded to sell his AnnTaylor shares. Snap!
So what does this all mean? Well, for one, it means if you own Ann Taylor stock, your investment portfolio is suffering. (Although, really, if you own any stock, it means your investment portfolio is suffering. Need I remind you that the once dominant currency of the Free World fell to a RECORD LOW yesterday against the sexier, more stylish Euro. *cue electronic music*) And two, it hopefully means more Ann Taylor stores will close as their profits continue to plummet.
In conclusion, I'm
sorry glad, DC women, that your go-to store for gnarly apparel is on the brink of destruction. But perhaps this is just the proverbial kick-in-the-ass many young DC females need to stop dressing like middle-aged assholes. Just a thought...