i miss you already

Gadzooks, my favorite (questionably) benevolent dictator, I don't know what to do! See, I feel a little off-trend now that you, Russian (soon to be ex-) President Vladimir Putin, will now officially be demoted to prime minister. I mean, I knew this day would come when your little bitch du jour, incumbent Russian prez Dmitry Mevedev, would win Russia's March 2 presidential election, but, like in all traumatic events, a girl can prepare but she will never truly be ready.

"I own you, Dima."

For instance, what am I supposed to do with these, my Putin trifecta?

Putins love Putins.

Or this, which I plan to screen-print on T-shirts and sell at Crafty Bastards next year? (Um, for reals, put your orders in now.)

Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

Are all of these possessions passé? Are my tastes suddenly outdated?? Must I start to collect Dmitry Medvedev gear??? O! THE HORROR OF LIFE WITHOUT YOU, PUTIN!

I already miss you. I just don't think it will be the same with you as second-in-command (does that even exist in Russia?). Sure, you'll slap Medvedev around for a bit, but unless you can harbor your superpowers to change the constitution, the proverbial student (without the robotic icy blue stare) will inevitably become the teacher.

A little piece of me died today, my friend love friend. But I'll never forget you...well, at least until I can make some money off of your fair visage on Ebay. Damn, you make a fine antique!

With hugs, kisses and faint traces of polonium,

The Anti DC