Tuesday, April 8, 2008

gory crime scene photographs

I apologize in advance for the sight I'm about to show you, but GOOD FREAKING GOD, people need to know. I've used words to get across my point in the past. Many, many words. But it's not often that I've used photographic evidence of the SENSELESS CRIMES that go down on the streets of DC to drive my point into this city's dense metaphorical skull. Well, e-friends, brace yourselves because here is your town in all of its STAINED SWEATPANTS and BLAZE ORANGE CROCS glory:

Welcome to hell.

One might expect to see this kind of TRAGEDY on the streets of, I don't know, maybe KABUL or BAGHDAD or SOME OTHER WARZONE, but no. No, e-friends, this kind of INHUMANE NONSENSE is happening right here on a busy downtown street in the Capital of the Free World. WHY?! WHHHYYYY?!

No really, why? What is the deal here? Either these women are straight up bat-sh*t crazy or they need to be schooled. And by "schooled," I mean publicly humiliated. (Dammit, I wish more people read this.) Seriously, I don't get how these two women ended up like this. If I had a heart, it would be breaking right now. I just feel sorry for them. Either they: 1) Can't afford a mirror; 2) Don't know how to use a mirror; or 3) Have no friends to tell them they look like complete assholes. Any way you look at it, it's sad.

With the dishabille scale tipped to its very limit, I also can't help but wonder what these two women were going to do that evening in Chinatown dressed like that. This crime occured around 5:30 pm on a Sunday. Were they planning to catch an early dinner somewhere? Were they going to a friend's house? Planning to do some late afternoon gardening? Doing some sort of street performance? Going to rob a liquor store? Getting out of jail? If I wasn't so ghastly horrified, I probably would've asked. However, unable to speak, all I could do was borrow my friend's camera, zoom in, and snap a photo from our rented Scion's passenger side window. At least I could spread the word that way.

Take note sloppy offendors, your crimes will no longer go unnoticed! We will take back the streets and we will prevail! Or at least, we will keep mocking you. Eh, probably the latter.


BAD said...

some ugly bitches just got owned.

after two days in DC I was starting to get desensitized to people wearing sweatpants in public. but STAINED sweatpants? even a fat ass is no excuse for that.

caroline said...

I don't feel sorry for them-- you don't need a mirror or friends to know that crocs are ugly and sweatpants shouldn't be worn anywhere besides the gym.

I don't understand the rationale behind stuff like this. In college I always got accused of "dressing up," and I would tell people: It doesn't take any longer to put on a skirt or nice pants and some decent shoes. And it's not any less comfortable, either. I frequently shop at Target and Goodwill and I always look nice, so you can't argue that cost is an issue either.

Even when I'm chilling at home I'm still wearing something attractive, simply because the time+comfort+cost is exactly the same as it would be if I dressed like a bum. So why would someone intentionally make themselves look like crap? It makes no sense.

I-66 said...

Actual conversation I once had with my roommate when he entered my room wearing a regular shirt, pair of jeans, and a pair of crocs:

Roommate: "Do I look ridiculous in this shirt?"
Me: "With those crocs, you look ridiculous no matter what you're wearing."

foilwoman away from home said...

And maybe these two women simply think that appearance isn't the most important thing in their lives? Maybe they're radical lesbian feminists who refuse to spent money on a woman's patriarchal duty to be beautiful? Maybe they're refinishing a house for Habitat for Humanity and didn't feel like dressing up to go to MacDonald's? Maybe your negative opinion of them doesn't matter to them, they'd rather read the latest George Pellecanos book (or pick any other author)? Maybe they're heading back in to chemotherapy? Who knows. Why care about this? Even for snarky sarcasm, there are many fine targets doing things that are substantively selfish and evil or self-centered or stupid. Bad clothes? Feh.

Washington Cube said...

I see the fashion police made a bust. Hi 66'r...man who forgets to wear a belt. :)

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

over in my neck of the woods I see.........thats a great picture.........I think there should be a law against crocs.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Well, if the girl is cute, it doesn't matter what she's wearing. I used to date a cute li'l art school chick and she looked DAMN sexy in her sweats with the paint on them.

But I get your point, that girl is nowhere near hot enough to be rockin' sweatpants. She should be rockin' a paper bag over her head.

Marissa said...


I'm actually happy someone is trying to defend these two style hooligans. It makes for interesting discussion, even if I can refute each of your arguments in a sentence:

--There's a difference between appearance not being important and simply being sloppy and lazy. I get that not everyone's into fashion, but isn't everyone into looking at least descent?
--Radical lesbian feminists? They should know there's a lot of power in beauty.
--Does Habitat for Humanity exist on H Street NW? Regardless, construction workers don't wear Crocs.
--Reading does not equate to bad fashion. I read (believe it or not!).
--Chemo. This is a hard process that takes a toll on the body, but I've unfortunately known people going through this and they did so without dressing like a hobo with bad taste.

Lastly, why care about this? It's offensive to me that our society has reached a level where it's acceptable to be that lazy.

Needless ugliness is like littering. It's rude and unnecessary.

BAD said...

to foilwoman:

appearance doesn't have to be the most important thing in your life for you to not dress like a jerk. I have higher priorities, and I'm sure marissa does too. In fact, this blog targets "evil" things, like a certain bureaucratic hot mess that ought to be dissolved.

but the fact is when people clearly have the resources to buy some decent clothes but instead go out wearing pajamas or dirty, filthy things, that shows total disrespect for the people around them. in a busy urban surroundings, it is antisocial. heck, in the capital city, it's even unpatriotic. and people who are assholes enough to do that deserve all the shit we can dish out.

caroline said...

Foilwoman-- I happen to be a radical lesbian feminist! And I wouldn't dream of wearing something like that (see my post above).

SickGirl said...

perhaps they're chefs (all my chef friends swear by their comfort.) in a chinatown kitchen? for their sake i sure hope so.

I-66 said...

Cube... Don't taunt me, little minx.

Shannon said...

Effort is a big part of the social covenant. Make an effort to be polite, make an effort to not respond with violence, and make an effort when you get dressed in the morning. You don't have to be fashionable, but you do have to be presentable.

I wish women still wore skirtsuits with hats and gloves. I'd be so down with that look.

PG County girl said...

Are you sure that's not Mario Batali?

Marissa said...

pg --

Maybe his sisters?

old person said...

maybe they have just given up on themselves. they have no pride, apparently. and it looks like a bird shit on the blue, sweat-panted one.

Marissa said...


I guess it could've been that. I thought it was paint splatter...but, um, I guess these days you never know. Nor do we even want to know most of the time.