Friday, August 1, 2008

bro or manziere?

Recalling an older post regarding how people wind up at my little (empty) weed pipe of a blog via the Google, I feel it's only fair that I let you in on my latest e-interaction (enteraction?) with the ol' Goog. This time, however, instead of the search engine, I shall focus on those Google-generated ads featured at the top of your G-mail. (Don't have G-mail and have no idea what I'm talking about? Then you may not find this funny. Oh wait, I take that back, this sh*t is going to be hilarious. Keep reading!)

In the spirit of the late, great Sophia Petrillo, "Picture it..." I was checking my Anti DC account when i notice, sitting at the top of my screen, the words "Man bra." So naturally, I clicked.

And then I was led to this (NSFW? Kinda?) -- the "breast and cleavage enhancing bra for cross-dressing, transgender and transvestites."

Now, there are several possible conclusions to make from this, with the first, of course, being that this "bro" or "manziere," as George Constanza's dad so eloquently put it on Seinfeld, is f*cking magic. That man has more cleavage than most women, including myself. I'm a bit jealous.

The second conclusion, naturally, is that there has been some pretty saucy E-mails trickling into lately. Which would be totally awesome, but there hasn't been. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all the E-mails and enteractions I've had, but there has regrettably been no discussion of men in female undergarments. In fact, in the spirit of full disclosure, in no particular order, the last 10 or so E-mails I've received (not counting every annoying Facebook alert or whatever the hell those are) centered on the topics of: Tim Hamilton trousers; Guido Beach; sexual harassment in Russia; how to take concert photos properly; my birthday; RZA; Claire Huxtable (both the band and the Cosby Show varieties); Crocs; Why.I.Hate.DC; my wit and general genius; and Christian the Lion.

Now, how those topics earned me the privilege of learning about this magical bra that gives men such juicy cleavage is beyond me. But I'll take it. And I'll be buying one of those bras bros because that is some flattering boobage, I tell you what.

I'm thinking, however, that maybe these ads are generated randomly, because this afternoon I've also gotten links to:

Organic Yoga Clothing, yet I'm not a hippie;

Luxury DC Condos, yet I'm poor;

Black Dermatologist -- DC, yet I'm Slavic-pale; and

The Newest BlackBerry, yet...forget it. Someone just shoot me. In the face. Now.

But seriously, Google ads, what are you doing? I mean, besides introducing me to fabulous new products? Although nothing will ever beat what is hands-down the greatest invention mankind will ever see -- A SUITCASE FULL OF SAUSAGES!* Enjoy that.

*Discovered via BikeSnobNYC.


Righteous (re)Style said...

This has nothing to do with your post, but you must see this. I think its a new reality show. New Joisey. Crazy Sh*t.

Righteous (re)Style said...

Wait! You already linked to!! (I guess I should have read the post first) ; )

Brilliant minds . . . or sumthin'.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to send you the suitcase full of sausage for Christmas! M.

Marissa said...


Definitely brilliant minds, although I must admit I didn't find it on my own. But, mon Dieu, is it amazing.


Who needs to wait for Christmas!? Can you send me a suitcase full of sausages for Labor Day?