Tuesday, August 26, 2008

shambles p.i. -- the daisy dukevich edition

I know I dedicated this week to NYC yesterday, but as anyone who's ever known me should realize, my word means nothing. But I don't break promises for just any old reason. Usually I forget, or get bored, or change my mind; that is, usually I am the reason I break my word. Today, however, I take a step back from my promised NYC Week because of reasons beyond my control.

A Moscow-based reader sent me a link to LiveJournal user "eaox" (LiveJournal in Russia is inexplicably huge, by the way), who had the following photo posted under a group called "metro persons" [SIC]. It really just might be the Shambles P.I. of all Shambles P.I.'s, even putting DC's epic fails to shambley shame. Behold! Comrade Daisy Dukevich!

Shto eto?! I have no idea what's going on here. I lived in Moscow for three years and never, ever have I seen someone shamble out with an outfit invention like that pictured above. I mean, it'd be bad enough with just those shoes and socks. Or the gut-exposing half-shirt. Or the junk-hugging denim short shorts. But all three together?! It's like a trifecta of...of...dammit, I don't know what the hell is going on here!

And the briefcase! Let us not forget to mention the briefcase! Is he going to work?! If so, what does he do? Computer programmer? Manager?? Duma deputy???

Under the comments section of the original LiveJournal post, people hypothesize that perhaps this gent lost a bet. Others suggest this was PhotoShopped. And still more postulate that perhaps he's just trying to beat the heat (the Moscow Metro isn't air-conditioned, after all). But the most thought-provoking comments are those comparing him to Hunter S. Thompson. After all, Hunter himself never minded showing a bit of leg.

The difference here is that the photo taken of Thompson was in 1977, in a hotel and he was clearly high on drugs. The photo of Daisy Dukevich was taken yesterday, on the metro, and we can only hope he's high on drugs to wear that very brave, yet incredibly fugtastic ensemble on the street. Fear and No Clothing In Moscow, certainly.

In short, DC has been trumped. Just when I thought there was no place more shambolic on Earth, Daisy Dukevich trumped our fugly city. I don't know whether to be relieved or incredibly sad. Hmm, much like after the Olympics ended, tonight again I might weep a little.


BAD said...

don't forget the rapist glasses.

Anonymous said...

I'm in love!!!

I-66 said...

While his shit is not tight, he'd better hope to hell his stool isn't loose.

JON said...

My teeth hurt.

Marissa said...


Ah yes! Rapist glasses! How could I forget?!


Who isn't? Daisy Dukevich is one hot piece of Russian zhopa.


I hope for the sake of the man next to him, as well.


My eyes hurt, but now I can't stop staring. I kind of heart this Russianized Hunter S.

Stevious said...

Wait a minute...

I've never even been to Moscow.

Er, I mean, yes. He does look silly.


Peter said...

Also, what is on his shirt? Rather, his half shirt, his "irt" if you will (I know you will).

Is that... Is that Jack and Rose from Titanic?!!!!

Greg Szeto said...

truly creepy.