Tuesday, August 12, 2008

lifetime television for douches

OMG you guyz! That sooper kewl new reality teevee show about the douches ladiez from Late Night Shots haz been picked up by Lifetime televizion! LIKE OMFG!

Yeah, apparently, as much as I don't understand it (or understand what the hell I just typed a sentence ago), re-runs of The Golden Girls weren't enough to keep Lifetime relevant. So, in what seems like a very, very desperate attempt, Lifetime's network execs decided a crop of affluent, 20-something "DC socialites" would turn do the trick. Because I'm sure the 60-somethings who watch that channel on a regular basis are (like, totes) interested in keeping up with who's giving whom herpes on the Georgetown douchebag circuit.

The news broke this morning in The Examiner:

We can now exclusively confirm that Lifetime has picked up the show
and filming begins in September. The half-hour show is slated to air in November and has scored a crucial timeslot: Immediately following Lifetime's popular reality show, "Project Runway" (which will switch from Bravo to the Lifetime network this fall).

Poor Project Runway.

Anyway, so far the current cast members still include just four douches ladiez, Katherine Kennedy, Krista Johnson, Sophie Pyle and Alexa Johnson, all of whom I mocked not long ago, so I'll refrain from doing it again, especially since the Olympics are on. (Who knew men's handball is so damn interesting?!)

Meanwhile, in other goings on in the douche-filled world of Late Night Shots, the current most popular thread topic is -- wait for it-- "Would you marry someone you knew 100% would never be rich?" The body of the message is even more hilariously retarded: "I'm curious to hear if this would even be possible. I'm talking about a guy that is ambitious, but who will never be able to afford anything besides public school for your kids and who will never be able to go skiing or learn how to captain a boat."

Yeah. They are a giant, douchey cliche:

"If a man is ambitious, even in a low-paying industry, they can figure out how to weasle [sic] their way into money through some form of import-export/embezzlement scheme." Because as we all know, crime pays.

"If he's good in bed I would consider it. What job is it where an ambitous guy would make no money? Campaign manager in the world workers party?" 1) She (or he) means Workers World party; 2) Is it 1950? Are Communist jokes still in vogue?

"Can we define what rich is? Are we talking net worth under $5 million? Sub $400k salary? Some guidelines please." Ew! Don't make me imagine a sub-$400k salary! Who is that? The campaign manager in the Workers World party?!

"NO." The only time she's ever said that word. (Scene points for veiled LNS whore joke!)

But, at least they're honest. Um...sure. Alas, however, I hope these are the kinds of very serious topics that get discussed on the LNS reality show. Well, this and such riveting topics as "baby vs. herpes."


maryjanejeff said...

ping pong is way cooler - a lot of LNS quite frankly needs to have a "romantic" encounter with a runaway bus. There would be no need for a truck ramp on I-70 in Colorado, just send LNS there. Trucks, truckers, and goods would be saved, everybody wins!

Anonymous said...

LNSers are popping up on every site imaginable -- I just spotted a photo on www.uvavictimsofrape.com. That ought to make for a cool angle to the reality show!